Need some advice from dads out there

[PalmettoStatesport]

As a few of you know, my wife and I are expecting our first child this October. Obviously being the Sports Editor for a paper requires a lot of hours devoted to work.
I was wondering from some of you dads, how you manage to balance work and family, especially when you have a newborn child.
Any advice would be great.
Thanks

 

[somewriter]

Don't sleep.

 

[LiveStrong]

As a few of you know, my wife and I are expecting our first child this October. Obviously being the Sports Editor for a paper requires a lot of hours devoted to work.
I was wondering from some of you dads, how you manage to balance work and family, especially when you have a newborn child.
Any advice would be great.
Thanks

Check your PMs

 

[RayKinsella]

Teach the kid how to lay out the baseball page, that way quality time with the baby will consist of you two at work. It is the best of both worlds!

 

[slappy4428]

Get a second wife... that way, she can take care of the kid when you are at work or want to sleep and the mother needs a break

 

[shotglass]

OK, one serious reply for my good man.

When that child is born, and you have one of your two nights off -- remember you asked this question, and you will know that that time is no longer just yours.

 

[ADifferentOkie]

OK, one serious reply for my good man.

When that child is born, and you have one of your two nights off -- remember you asked this question, and you will know that that time is no longer just yours.

Who gets two nights off?
That's a serious question.
I'm doing well if I get most of one.

 

[Tom Petty]

take some of your vacation, all of your sick time and a couple personal days to be at home the first week or two when the baby gets home.

 

[shotglass]

That's a first-class idea right there.

 

[Sxysprtswrtr]

take some of your vacation, all of your sick time and a couple personal days to be at home the first week or two when the baby gets home.

Serious question: Do any papers out there give paternity leave? Or is it based on the nature of our business, if you're a SE in palmetto's case, that you're just not gonna be allowed to take more than X amount of time off?

 

[sportschick]

take some of your vacation, all of your sick time and a couple personal days to be at home the first week or two when the baby gets home.

Serious question: Do any papers out there give paternity leave? Or is it based on the nature of our business, if you're a SE in palmetto's case, that you're just not gonna be allowed to take more than X amount of time off?

Men are allowed to use the Family and Medical Leave Act as well. Paper can't stop him, and has to return him to his current position or an equivilant one. Not sure if he can afford it. I doubt many of us can, but he can use it to take time off.

 

[Tom Petty]

take some of your vacation, all of your sick time and a couple personal days to be at home the first week or two when the baby gets home.

Serious question: Do any papers out there give paternity leave? Or is it based on the nature of our business, if you're a SE in palmetto's case, that you're just not gonna be allowed to take more than X amount of time off?

sick time is tied into the law that was passed a few years back about immediate family being "sick" and needing to take care of them.

i took two weeks when the second heartbreaker came home and it was in the middle of spring. and you know what, **** 'em. it was the best two weeks i've ever taken.

going back to that "on your deathbed thing" ... yeah, you get the point, **** 'em. take the time.

 

[Tom Petty]

take some of your vacation, all of your sick time and a couple personal days to be at home the first week or two when the baby gets home.

Serious question: Do any papers out there give paternity leave? Or is it based on the nature of our business, if you're a SE in palmetto's case, that you're just not gonna be allowed to take more than X amount of time off?

Men are allowed to use the Family and Medical Leave Act as well. Paper can't stop him, and has to return him to his current position or an equivilant one. Not sure if he can afford it. I doubt many of us can, but he can use it to take time off.

yes, that is it. but he can run his sick time to zero and get paid.

 

[BillyT]

I have done that twice.

It can work, but you have to work at it.

1. Talk to your wife about it. A lot. Communicate as much as you can.

2. In some ways, it works *because* of the job. I would get home after deadline, feed and change the baby, maybe watch a little Sports Center with her. My wife, who had likely gotten to bed between 9 and 11 p.m., would get up in the morning, then I would take the baby after I got up, so she could sleep. You have to work together.

I did get out of the business after the kids were 3 and 6.

 

[Taylee]

See PM

 

[floridasun]

Go until you can go no more and then get out of the business. At least that's what I did. Much happier now, too.

 

[SixToe]

Use the Family and Medical Leave Act to its fullest without giving up your vacation or sick leave.

It is designed for families and is not the Women and Medical Leave Act.

A friend of mine did this when his son was born. The paper tried to go psycho on him about it and he stood fast, got his time, stayed home with the family and said it was great.

Chip in at home, enjoy the time with your wife and child, dig out a quiet moment here or there for yourself and find the balance. It can be done without killing yourself.

 

[Ace]

1. Don't work so damn much. The kid is more imporant than you covering one more volleyball match.

2. Set a schedule so that you have some time together with your wife and kid and also (especially if your wife works) you have some time alone with the baby to give her a break. Could be mornings, afternoons, evenings -- whatever works.

3. Try very hard to be there at night and at least put the little rug rat to bed. Read books, tell stories. Let her fall asleep on your shoulder in the recliner while your read your football gamer to her. That's the best time.

4. Keep a serious eye out for another job -- at least for down the road.

 

[Lugnuts]

I'm not a dad, but if I may be so bold...

For a lot of people, the biggest curveball the lack of sleep.

The baby waking up at night doesn't last forever. It's something to be "gotten through." In other words, just get yourself through it however you can.

In terms of work, tell yourself you will not win any awards during this stretch. There will be days when you do the bare minimum. Give yourself permission to do the bare minimum.

Set aside a time-- be it one day a week or one hour everyday-- where you take over care of the baby. Let your wife have that break. It's best if you take the baby OUT of the house, or if she LEAVES. Otherwise, she will be tempted to hover, pick up the baby, whatever. If you don't do this, your wife will begin to think the baby is her responsibility 24/7, and you're not helping. She will then make your life miserable with guilt trips. ;D Having that special time to herself will really give her something to look forward to and plan for.

Remember: The baby will sleep through the night eventually. Then you'll MISS the quiet, snuggly nighttime wakings... But that's another thread.

 

[Idaho]

take some of your vacation, all of your sick time and a couple personal days to be at home the first week or two when the baby gets home.

True enough.

USE your vacation, holiday, sick and comp time. It helps a ton.

The Family Leave Act is great, if you can afford to take 12 weeks off without getting paid. When I was at one of my past jobs, I could afford it and took all 12 weeks without a single regret. Most can't.

My advice, if it's worth much, is to not take work home if you can at all avoid it. If it's unavoidable, try hard to minimize it.

Also, when your wife is ready, hire a babysitter once or twice a month and go on a date. You two need a break and time together just as much as you need time with the kid.

When you get a chance, hand your wife the car keys and a certificate for a local day spa. She's going to be beat, so reward her with a pedicure, facial, massage or something to take her mind and body away from the unrelenting task that is raising a child.

If you can afford it, hire a housekeeper to come in and attack the house so you and your wife can skip it -- even if it's just one time.