HB ... HB

[hockeybeat]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you very much.

30. There are a lot of broke mother****ers in Vegas today. Odds were that I wasn't gonna make it this far. Last I checked, the line was 500-1. I dropped a $20, figuring I was gonna cash in like a champ. And I did. Oh yeah. Who's better than me?
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Alright, that didn't happen. But if it did, it'd be sweet.

To be honest, I'm a little down about today. Officially, today, I'm too old for sportschick. :'( :( :o

It's been a big weekend for the 'Beat clan. Along with tonight's festivities, my sister was paroled graduated from St. John's yesterday. She'll be at the bash tonight. Saturday, Momsbeat, Popsbeat, Sistersbeat, met up with yours truly, my best friend, my cousin Billy, his wife--referenced in this thread:http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/40884/--and Billy's mom at one of Queens' finest Italian dining establishments. It was a good dinner. Stories being swapped, lots of laughs, loads of ****-talking. Good times. A few snippets:

My sister had noticed that I had some grey hairs Friday night.
"Dude, you're not coming to my graduation with grey hair. I'm coloring your hair tomorrow morning." I tried arguing, but she wasn't budging. She's like a more intelligent George W. Bush.

Saturday morning, she, my seven year old half sister (The Don) and my mom sat me down and dyed my hair.

My sisters, mom and dad were running late, so I sat down with my cousin, his wife, my aunt and my friend. Billy looked at my head. "Dude, what the ****?"

"Laura colored my hair, Bill."

"She dyed your hair?"

"Yeah dude, she did."

"Dude, only women dye their hair. What the **** is wrong with you?

"Hey, my mom, the baby and Laura teamed up. What am I gonna do, swallow a cyanide pill?"

"Dude, do you feel like a woman? Only women color their hair."

"Yeah Bill, I feel like a hump.''

My aunt: "HB, you're going to be 30? 30! I can't believe that."
Yours truly: "Aunt Mare, in two days, I'll be exactly half as old as you. How does that make you feel?"
My aunt: "Very old."
Popsbeat: "Hey, pipe down!"
Yours truly: "Easy, old man. You're fifty-nine in a couple months. I'm 30 in a couple days. I'm still in my physical prime. You're five minutes away from an old-folks home and early bird dinners."

Billy and I have the same taste--or lack therof--in t.v. shows. At one point Saturday night, we started talking t.v.

"Dude, are you an Entourage fan?"

"Absolutely Bill. Huge fan of the show. I think that you are Eric."

"Shut the **** up."

"No seriously. He's short. You're short. You're both Irish. The only difference is that he's an actor, has red hair, cash and you're balding."

"Dude, you're an idiot."

"Yeah, pretty much. I'm trying to be more like Ari"

"That's your problem, HB. You never say what's on your mind."

My dad and my aunt have a rather remarkable lack of rhythm. Without a shadow of a doubt, they are the whitest white people ever. I leaned over to Billy and said, "Have you ever seen anyone with less rhythm than my dad and your mom?"

He smirked and said, "Yeah. You."

I grinned and said, "Dude, look at me. Look at us. We had no shot. Our genes, man. Our genes."

 

[Pastor]

Happy Birthday!

I wish I was able to make it out tonight for the celebration.

 

[hockeybeat]

A couple announcements:

Thus giving HB 18 more chances to see the lovely Ms. Chalke. Happy birthday, indeed. http://www.sportsjournalists.com/forum/threads/41446/

My fiefdom to anyone who can bring me the delectable Sarah Chalke! Think about it...

The tourists of New York wish you happy birthday.

That cracked me up.

Happy birthday dude! This guy wonders if he can hang out with you tonight:

I'm doing a better job of dealing with the NYC tourists. But Mike Jarvis? That mother...If he ****s himself with JDV's steroid-shriveled **** for the rest of his days, it's not enough of a punishment for what he did to St. John's.

For your birthday shindig, HB, a special guest will be present:

"HOCKEYBEAT IS IN GEORGE'S BOX AND HOCKEYBEAT IS COMING BACK! OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!"

HAHAHA that is awesome.

OF ALL THE DRAMATIC THINGS I'VE EVER SEEN HOCKEYBEAT CELEBRATING HIS 30TH BIRTHDAY...OH MY GOD!!!! HOCKEYBEAT IS STANDING ON TOP OF THE TABLE AND ANNOUNCING IT IS HIS 30TH BIRTHDAY!!!!

I HAVE NEVER SEEN A TOAST AS DRAMATIC IN MY LIFE AS HOCKEYBEAT'S 30TH BIRTHDAY TOAST! THE CROWD IS ROARING, AND THERE COMES GEORGE STEINBRENNER!

I HAVE NEVER SEEN A TOAST AS DRAMATIC IN MY LIFE AS HOCKEYBEAT'S 30TH BIRTHDAY TOAST! THE CROWD IS ROARING, AND THERE COMES GEORGE STEINBRENNER!

"Heartbreaker, love taker, Brubaker, run this prison like a man!"

Happy birthday, HB! :)

Dudes, that was uncalled for. Funny as all hell, but uncalled for. I can pretty much assure SJers that Suzyn Waldman and George Steinbrenner won't be at the bash.

Happy birthday, HB.

Old school greetings!

Happy HB-day!

Thanks lads. And soon enough, Captain Jagr will hoist the Cup on Broadway...

 

[hockeybeat]

Happy Birthday!

I wish I was able to make it out tonight for the celebration.

Thanks pal...

 

[dooley_womack1]

Hey, tonight would be the right time to lose that darn cherry.

 

[ondeadline]

Have a great day, HB!

 

[Dyno]

Here's your "if your birthday is today..." from today's Post. Sounds like you should be posting frequently on the "Do you believe in God" thread:

Your interest in subjects that have a religious or spiritual bent will increase over the coming 12 months but you must put each new idea you are confronted with to the test of common sense. That is doubly true when those ideas come from people who would like to convert you to their way of thinking.


Happy birthday, hb!

 

[Sam Mills 51]

Happy Birthday, HB.

Anyone who loves hockey - and can spread some of that goodwill to my part of the world - deserves a halfway decent greeting and well ... I'd buy you a beer, but I sense that a couple of other SportsJournalists.commers in the area might help on that front.

Take care, have fun ...

 

[hockeybeat]

Alright, I'm gonna be out for the rest of the night.

But on this occasion, I thought I'd formally introduce myself to SportsJournalists.com; finally lift the cloak of internet anonymity.

I am...

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The Whole F'n Show

:D ;D 8)

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You didn't think I was serious, did ya? 8) ;)

 

[shockey]

happy b-day, hb. remember, you and spnited raise a heineken for me, bro!! ;D 8) ;D

 

[spnited]

It will be taken care of Shockey my friend

 

[Birdscribe]

Happy B-day from the West Coast contingent, HB.

Hope it went according to Hoyle...

 

[wireguy]

happy birthday, you share the same birthday as pat borders, dennis martinez, rick vaive, alain vigneault...

 

[hockeybeat]

'Twas a good night...spnited will attest that my sister got the looks in the 'Beat family...

 

[21]

hb, hope you had a great bday....get any good presents?? It's all about the presents.

 

[The Big Ragu]

Happy B-Day HB. So your sister is hot, eh? JDV hot? Do I look her up under Ms. Beat in the phone book?

30 is a great age. I think I started to hit my stride at 30. I was starting to loose the goofiness. I figure by the time I am 50 I will be all the way there and people will think of me as distinguished. Embrace it, man.

 

[JR]

HB, sorry we couldn't make it. Hope you had a good one.

 

[hockeybeat]

Happy B-Day HB. So your sister is hot, eh? JDV hot? Do I look her up under Ms. Beat in the phone book?

30 is a great age. I think I started to hit my stride at 30. I was starting to loose the goofiness. I figure by the time I am 50 I will be all the way there and people will think of me as distinguished. Embrace it, man.

TBR,

Thanks for the well-wishes. You too, 21.

I don't think of my sister as hot because I'm not from West Virginia. I'm not sure JDV would like my sister. The girl in his sidesaddle pic looks like she's being held hostage by Juicing' John. The smile on her face couldn't be more forced. My sister is mouthy. Yeah, I know you're all shocked, considering that I'm so meek. I think she'd tell JDV to make a YouTube video of the Villarreal brothers sharing a tube of K-Y Jelly, a box of Kleenex and season four of Roseanne on DVD.

I feel like in the last 47 some odd days, after I started taking the antidepressant, that I am calmer and less-of-a-20-something douchebag. I feel more like an adult, even though I'm going to be carded until I'm 80 something. I just feel good emotionally. I feel like my writing is maturing; finally, it's getting to level that I want it to be at.

 

[hockeybeat]

HB, sorry we couldn't make it. Hope you had a good one.

I did, I did. Thanks JR. And thank HC...

A good time was had by all.

Only time I got a little loud was when the bar flipped from the Mets postgame to Huntin' And Shootin' With Jim Bob and Billy Bob on OLN/Versus. Ya mean they couldn't flip on Sens-Sabres?

 

[hockeybeat]

hb, hope you had a great bday....get any good presents?? It's all about the presents.

I received three presents of incalculable value.

In no particular order, they are:

Damien Cox's

job covering the

for the

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