Few Washington Wizards Articles I've Writte

[Will637]

Hey guys, I'm new here and hope to become active here. Anyway, I just wanted to see if I could get some feedback on a few articles I've written in the past. Check them out:


Wizards Draft Wrap-Up

On The Bubble

Wizards 06-07 Season Preview

 

[Appgrad05]

Welcome to the board.

The key here is actual reporting. Blogs are all well and good, but what access do you have?

As far as the writing, there are a lot of little things here that Intro to Journalism should knock out and you can improve in time by reading and learning. Right now, though, the little things are piling up and creating pieces that are difficult to make through.

 

[jgmacg]

Will,

Thanks for posting in the workshop. We welcome you.

I skimmed all 3 pieces and have a couple of recommendations:

- If you're going to write - especially if you intend to write for a living, whether online or in print - you need to master the basics. Right now you need a lot of work on grammar, punctuation, word usage and sentence/story structure. Pick up a copy of the 'Elements of Style,' by Strunk and White. Read it cover to cover, please.

- One of the ways to become a better writer is to become a better reader. You need to read a great deal more - and a great deal more closely. Teach yourself to read as a writer. Notice how stories are ordered, and how words and punctuation are used. Read every sports story in a major daily newspaper (on paper or online) every day until you get the hang of the language and its application.

- As Appgrad pointed out, you're writing opinion pieces without necessarily having any firsthand reporting or research to back them up. Opinion is fine, but if you don't have any new information to share with the reader, you need to be fantastically entertaining in your presentation. Right now you're just reprocessing information you took from other sources - radio, TV, other blogs - and presenting it without adding much entertainment value. So ask yourself, as every writer must, for whom am I writing?

Dig in to the reading; root through the threads here in the workshop for the tips we've given other writers; and keep working at your writing. Good luck.

Thanks again for sharing your work with us.

 

[Will637]

Welcome to the board.

The key here is actual reporting. Blogs are all well and good, but what access do you have?

As far as the writing, there are a lot of little things here that Intro to Journalism should knock out and you can improve in time by reading and learning. Right now, though, the little things are piling up and creating pieces that are difficult to make through.

Oh no, it's not supposed to be a newspaper article/report though. It's more of like a blog or analysis you would read on ESPN, you know. And what do you mean by 'What access do I have?'

 

[Will637]

- If you're going to write - especially if you intend to write for a living, whether online or in print - you need to master the basics. Right now you need a lot of work on grammar, punctuation, word usage and sentence/story structure. Pick up a copy of the 'Elements of Style,' by Strunk and White. Read it cover to cover, please.

Which versions? There's like a lot from different years, but I'll plan on going to Barnes and Noble to pick one up.

- One of the ways to become a better writer is to become a better reader. You need to read a great deal more - and a great deal more closely. Teach yourself to read as a writer. Notice how stories are ordered, and how words and punctuation are used. Read every sports story in a major daily newspaper (on paper or online) every day until you get the hang of the language and its application.

Gotcha.

- As Appgrad pointed out, you're writing opinion pieces without necessarily having any firsthand reporting or research to back them up. Opinion is fine, but if you don't have any new information to share with the reader, you need to be fantastically entertaining in your presentation. Right now you're just reprocessing information you took from other sources - radio, TV, other blogs - and presenting it without adding much entertainment value. So ask yourself, as every writer must, for whom am I writing?

What do you mean I'm reprocessing info? All of those articles are an opinion/analysis thing. It wasn't like trying to state a news report.

 

[Jones]

Even if you're doing something new with old information, Will, that's still reprocessing information. You're giving analysis based on information that we all have access to and that we can all form our own opinions about. Why should we care what you have to say? (I don't mean that to sound harsh -- that's a question every columnist needs to answer every time they sit down to write a column.)

Bottom line, columnists still need to report, at least in an ideal world. They can't just riff from their couches, although plenty do. The good ones hustle.

And the good ones write well, too. I agree with the other guys that you need to start with the basics. I had a really hard time following your writing. Even your posts here -- you have a typo in the thread head and your line above, "It wasn't like trying to state a news report"... Say something like that out loud to yourself and see if it makes any sense.

If you're serious about this, you have a lot of work to do.

Doesn't mean it's impossible, but it won't be easy, either.

 

[Will637]

Even if you're doing something new with old information, Will, that's still reprocessing information. You're giving analysis based on information that we all have access to and that we can all form our own opinions about. Why should we care what you have to say? (I don't mean that to sound harsh -- that's a question every columnist needs to answer every time they sit down to write a column.)

Couldn't you say the same about everybody else that writes a sports article? If the world doesn't care what the writer has to say, then why bother writing it at all? I don't get where you were trying to go with that.

Bottom line, columnists still need to report, at least in an ideal world. They can't just riff from their couches, although plenty do. The good ones hustle.

I don't get it, what do you mean by report? What do you mean when the good ones hustle?

And the good ones write well, too. I agree with the other guys that you need to start with the basics. I had a really hard time following your writing. Even your posts here -- you have a typo in the thread head and your line above, "It wasn't like trying to state a news report"... Say something like that out loud to yourself and see if it makes any sense.

Yeah, I already admitted that, no need to repeat it, if I understand what you guys are trying to say.
If you're serious about this, you have a lot of work to do.

Can you tell me which version of 'Elements of Style' I should buy?


Not trying to sound harsh anyway, so don't take my words as if I was sounding mean.

 

[jgmacg]

- If you're going to write - especially if you intend to write for a living, whether online or in print - you need to master the basics. Right now you need a lot of work on grammar, punctuation, word usage and sentence/story structure. Pick up a copy of the 'Elements of Style,' by Strunk and White. Read it cover to cover, please.

Which versions? There's like a lot from different years, but I'll plan on going to Barnes and Noble to pick one up.

- One of the ways to become a better writer is to become a better reader. You need to read a great deal more - and a great deal more closely. Teach yourself to read as a writer. Notice how stories are ordered, and how words and punctuation are used. Read every sports story in a major daily newspaper (on paper or online) every day until you get the hang of the language and its application.

Gotcha.

- As Appgrad pointed out, you're writing opinion pieces without necessarily having any firsthand reporting or research to back them up. Opinion is fine, but if you don't have any new information to share with the reader, you need to be fantastically entertaining in your presentation. Right now you're just reprocessing information you took from other sources - radio, TV, other blogs - and presenting it without adding much entertainment value. So ask yourself, as every writer must, for whom am I writing?

What do you mean I'm reprocessing info? All of those articles are an opinion/analysis thing. It wasn't like trying to state a news report.

Just get the latest edition of 'E of S.'

By "reprocessing," I'm saying that you're writing opinion pieces based on readily available public materials. Materials to which anyone interested in the Wizards already has access themselves. In other words, your opinion is no better or worse or more valuable or more informed or more worthwhile or more entertaining than any other fan's opinion - in part because it contains no new information. There's nothing wrong with that as a hobbyist, but once people realize that your opinion is no better informed than theirs, why would they choose to read it?

The work of Bill Simmons comes up all the time here. Maybe he's an apt example for you. He doesn't break any news; nor is his raw information any different than that which is available to diehard fans. What made him successful is the entertaining way in which he frames his opinions.

Right now your opinions aren't doing much informing or entertaining. The best coulmns, paper or electronic, do a lot of both.

 

[Jones]

Just to follow up jgmacg's always spot-on analysis...

The world cares about what a writer has to say when:

1) He has something new or interesting to say and,

2) He says it well, thoughtfully, and entertainingly.

As for what I mean by reporting: getting out there and finding out stuff that nobody knows about, and then telling them about it. That's what reporters do. They tell us things we don't already know about.

By hustle, I mean getting out there and working hard to find out new, accurate information that they can pass along to their readers.

That's why reporters go to events and meet people and ask questions -- and columnists should, too.

 

[Will637]

How am I able to find new information to report about the Wizards if I'm not a beat writer or anything. I'm only 14, lol.

The type of articles I'm trying to write is just about my own thoughts and opinion about the subject, I'm not trying to deliver breaking news or anything, you know.

 

[Will637]

Another thing:

To anyone else that thinks I'm coming off pissy and rude, trust me, I'm not. I'm a nice person once you get to know me and everything, it's just here, I don't understand clearly the things being suggested toward me and want to make sure I take the right suggestions.

 

[Jones]

Will, how are we supposed to know any of that?

You asked for comments on your writing. We're giving them to you.

Now, for a 14-year-old, these aren't bad.

But two things go into a good story: good information and good writing. If you don't have one, you MUST have the other.

So, now we know why you can't report. Understood.

But you can learn to write better. So, again, if you're serious about getting into this business, that's where you should start.

Everything you write -- not just stories, but everything -- you should try to write cleanly and clearly.

That's the foundation of everything.

 

[jgmacg]

Will -

It's terrifically commendable that you care so much about writing at just 14. And no one thinks you're being pissy or rude. We don't do pissy or rude in the workshop. We're all here to make our work better.

You're off to a good start - by caring deeply about becoming a better writer. Do you write for your school paper? You should try to if you get the chance.

And we're not saying that you shouldn't try to share your thoughts and opinions about the Wizards. You absolutely should. But you should also understand, even at your tender age, that opinion pieces - the kind of thing you're writing now - aren't really of much value if you're not providing a) new information, b) entertainment, or c) some combination of the two.

In addition to all the reading I'm asking you to do, I'm going to ask you to do a couple more things now that I know a little more about you.

- First, find the journalism or newspaper adviser at your school, and start talking to him or her about how to become a better writer. Again, try to land a spot on your school paper.

- Second -- and this is one of the fundamental truths about writing -- write about what you know. It's great that you're interested in the Wizards; and it's great to have opinions about them. But why not try writing about your school basketball team for a while? A team that you do have access to - with a coach and players you can actually talk to and interview? It'll help you master the basics of writing and journalism much better than simply trying to write about the Wizards.

Again thanks for posting. And we look forward to helping in any way we can whenever we can. Good luck.

 

[imjustagirl2]

Another thing:

To anyone else that thinks I'm coming off pissy and rude, trust me, I'm not. I'm a nice person once you get to know me and everything, it's just here, I don't understand clearly the things being suggested toward me and want to make sure I take the right suggestions.

Will, as someone who PMed you with those concerns and to tell you humility would be your best friend...The thing with your above sentence is that you're denying coming off rude and pissy. What you should have said is "For those of you who think I am coming off rude and pissy, trust me, I'm not TRYING TO." Because what you're saying and how you're saying it comes off as rude and pissy (at least to me, though apparently not to jgmacg).

Now trust me, Jones and jgmacg are two guys to listen to. Take what they say and ask questions without challenging.

 

[Will637]

Will, how are we supposed to know any of that?

I said it before earlier in this thread...

You asked for comments on your writing. We're giving them to you.

Yeah I know, and I'm just trying to clarify some of those comments because I didn't understand. I wasn't trash on your comments, I just wanted to make it clear on what you were trying to say.

But two things go into a good story: good information and good writing. If you don't have one, you MUST have the other.

So, now we know why you can't report. Understood.

I know that I don't have good writing, but what do you mean by good information? Do I need to cite more statistics? Past examples? (This is what I mean when I don't understand what you are truly saying)

But you can learn to write better. So, again, if you're serious about getting into this business, that's where you should start.

Everything you write -- not just stories, but everything -- you should try to write cleanly and clearly.

That's the foundation of everything.

Yeah, I understand. I'm going to take a journalism class in my junior year, while learning everything I can until then. I'm going to read that Styles of Element book, and see what I can learn off of it.


[/quote]

 

[Will637]

Will -

It's terrifically commendable that you care so much about writing at just 14. And no one thinks you're being pissy or rude. We don't do pissy or rude in the workshop. We're all here to make our work better.

Well, when did you guys start to care about your writing? And "imjustagirl" pm'ed me about being rude and all that.

You're off to a good start - by caring deeply about becoming a better writer. Do you write for your school paper? You should try to if you get the chance.

Did for a while in my freshman year, until I got loaded with homework and tests, I had to drop out. I'm going to return in my sophomore year for the rest of high school and going to take Journalism classes at my school for junior and senior years.

And we're not saying that you shouldn't try to share your thoughts and opinions about the Wizards. You absolutely should. But you should also understand, even at your tender age, that opinion pieces - the kind of thing you're writing now - aren't really of much value if you're not providing a) new information, b) entertainment, or c) some combination of the two.

For new information, how do you suggest I should bring in new information? By new information, do you mean reporting breaking news I got from interviewing players? Or stating new ideas I have when I share my opinion?

From the blogs I read regularly, they don't have much humor and I wouldn't know how to add humor into my articles, myself, you know...maybe you guys can guide me to?

- First, find the journalism or newspaper adviser at your school, and start talking to him or her about how to become a better writer. Again, try to land a spot on your school paper.

The newspaper at my school is open and anyone can come in and contribute anytime they want. I know and worked with the sports editor before, and I intend to return to the schools newspaper this year.

- Second -- and this is one of the fundamental truths about writing -- write about what you know. It's great that you're interested in the Wizards; and it's great to have opinions about them. But why not try writing about your school basketball team for a while? A team that you do have access to - with a coach and players you can actually talk to and interview? It'll help you master the basics of writing and journalism much better than simply trying to write about the Wizards.

One of the articles I wrote about this year when I was on the school newspaper was about the swimming team, so I might look into more of the school's teams even more this year.

 

[Will637]

Will, as someone who PMed you with those concerns and to tell you humility would be your best friend...The thing with your above sentence is that you're denying coming off rude and pissy. What you should have said is "For those of you who think I am coming off rude and pissy, trust me, I'm not TRYING TO." Because what you're saying and how you're saying it comes off as rude and pissy (at least to me, though apparently not to jgmacg).

Now trust me, Jones and jgmacg are two guys to listen to. Take what they say and ask questions without challenging.

Jones and Jgmacg don't think I was coming off rude and pissy, but why do you?

I know they're the ones to listen to. I'm taking their suggestions, and then again when you don't understand what one is suggesting, don't you ask to clarify what they mean? That's what I am trying to do.

 

[Jones]

Will, you did not say you were 14 anywhere before on this thread.

jgmacg is a nice, kind, and patient man. I try to be, but you've worn me out.

Good luck, and all the best.

 

[Will637]

Will, you did not say you were 14 anywhere before on this thread.

Read post 9 again.

jgmacg is a nice, kind, and patient man. I try to be, but you've worn me out.

I'm not putting down any of your suggestions. I've listened and understood about 75% of your guys' suggestions, but the other 25%, you guys aren't making clear, so I just question it.

 

[jgmacg]

Will -

I started caring about my writing very young. By the time I was about 10, I knew what I wanted to do. I'm nearly 50 now, so I've been at it a long time.

The easiest way to become a better writer is to read. Read everything. Get off the internet and read every book you can get your hands on. There's a lot of really bad, lazy writing online. The better the stuff you read, the better your own writing is likely to become. Reading a lot on your own makes school easier, too.

Frankly, you're not going to be able to get much new information on the Wizards, so maybe the thing to concentrate on is becoming a good reporter for your school paper. At least for now.

If you want to look at a funny sports website, you might visit deadspin.com.

But get in the habit of reading at least one major newspaper a day as well.

And don't worry about imjustagirl. She may have a toothache.

Now I have to go to bed. Because I am fantastically old.

Again, thanks for coming.