Depression over current job...anyone?

[1GreytWriter]

For those of you who are trying to get out or have gotten out, were you ever feeling depressed while still at your journalism job?

I've been an editor for the last four years, so I can't relate to the many struggles I've read on here from reporters. Forgive me for that much. But, I have felt the burnout from working every Thanksgiving and Christmas, working weekends while watching all my family and friends have leisure time and being under constant scrutiny from my supervisor. (My first supervisor was pretty much a clueless 25-year-old who had no idea how to manage and gave off signals and said things that showed as much. His replacement is about the same age and has nearly argued with me when I'm not available for work at certain hours, even though I have covered coworkers plenty.) My coworkers and I get 1-1 performance reviews every 3-4 weeks, and the team as a whole then gets an e-mail about where we need to step up and what was good. On team meetings, my boss will give a shoutout to the person with a best review, although this time, he did it in the group e-mail.

I have stepped up the job search, but tomorrow will mark only my third interview/interaction with an employer that doesn't involve an automated rejection e-mail. I've sent out 35 applications. The only way I would stay at my current job now is if I got the absolute right offer, and given that we have low turnover in some departments, I don't see it happening. Since June, I've gotten farewell e-mails on behalf of or directly from at least 5-6 coworkers, including one colleague who lasted four months. Granted, I didn't know some of the people, but I can see what's happening, and it's making me squirm. (Luckily, we are not in danger of layoffs that I know of.)

I used to think this was all going to be worth it because I wanted to eventually work in sports media relations. I even have a good mentor who holds that role with a local sports team. He's helped me out a little in feeling less overwhelmed and giving me advice to manage my priorities, and he was ultimately the one who encouraged me to think about options outside of media relations, and sports period. We weighed the pros and cons of the career path and he left the decision to me (which I appreciated, since he didn't directly tell me to get out or that I'd be terrible at the job or whatever). I decided to think about expanding my horizons a little, which is how my social media internship turned part-time job came to be, and eight months after my mentor talked with me, I now don't care if my next job is not in sports media. It's been hard, but I've slowly detached myself from the idea.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone has ever felt depressed or exhausted on the job while you were waiting to exit. How did it affect you? I tend to feel drained and not feel like doing anything around the house after work, and I know I'm angrier and get more affected by things that shouldn't bother me. What can I do until a new job comes up to stay in control and not let my emotions get the better of me in my personal life?

Thanks everyone...I really appreciate it.

 

[ColdCat]

Yes.
Oh god, yes.
Still in, trying to get out but not sure which way to jump. I used to think the good would outweigh the bad and I could tread water at a ****ty company for a couple years, then jump to a good one. But are there good companies anymore? I'm starting to think no. And the misery keeps piling up.

 

[Riptide]

I hate metrics.

 

[SnarkShark]

Just reminded me to check on job postings. Thanks.

 

[1GreytWriter]

I hate metrics.

I actually used to not mind getting reviewed when I was newer to my role so I knew what to work on, could see my mistakes, etc. But once management decided to switch to this "every three weeks cycle" system, that's when I started to go batty.

I know pretty much every company has annual reviews. I would be a little less stressed with a system like that, or even if my bosses went to every other month or every three months. Every few weeks is excessive.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

Every few weeks is ridiculous. Everybody has a few weeks where they kick ass, and a few weeks that are rather ordinary and a week that nothing goes right. A review should be about the overall body of work, rather than hot and cold streaks.

 

[ColdCat]

I hate metrics.

I actually used to not mind getting reviewed when I was newer to my role so I knew what to work on, could see my mistakes, etc. But once management decided to switch to this "every three weeks cycle" system, that's when I started to go batty.

I know pretty much every company has annual reviews. I would be a little less stressed with a system like that, or even if my bosses went to every other month or every three months. Every few weeks is excessive.

So in other words you spend more time in meetings talking about your job than actually doing it? Is it likely your managers are not the sharpest tools in the shed?

 

[1GreytWriter]

I hate metrics.

I actually used to not mind getting reviewed when I was newer to my role so I knew what to work on, could see my mistakes, etc. But once management decided to switch to this "every three weeks cycle" system, that's when I started to go batty.

I know pretty much every company has annual reviews. I would be a little less stressed with a system like that, or even if my bosses went to every other month or every three months. Every few weeks is excessive.

So in other words you spend more time in meetings talking about your job than actually doing it? Is it likely your managers are not the sharpest tools in the shed?

Haha well my first manager (see description in my first post) was NOT the sharpest tool in the shed. He would tell me how unorganized he was (especially on time management), would schedule a meeting with me and either just forget about it or remember hours later that he had to see me and have bi-weekly conference calls with the whole team where we talked about the same things on more than one occasion.

Ever since he left for health reasons and the new manager took over (he was a peer of mine who was moved up), we haven't had conference calls as much and New Boss is more focused on the tri-weekly performance reviews. He'll send me one-off notes about my mistakes, and it actually came up in my last review that I need to respond to him when he sends them. (It was actually an "action item" in my report, even though I respond to his questions about shift coverage or how a particular shift went.) When we do have group conference calls, we are still rehashing topics from past calls...it seems like there isn't much new going on that makes us worth getting together. (Unless it's to see who gets the honor of the "shoutout" for best performance I guess.)

My new boss, who's been in charge for about three months, seems to have his act more together on time management and organization. But he still comes off as unreasonable at times and being demanding, then getting mad when I won't give him his way on things like scheduling (because of being unavailable or whatever).

 

[podunk press]

I didn't really get depressed. I would get frustrated. I think I applied for roughly 75 jobs in seven years before I *finally* was able to leave the business.

Now? Better hours. Better salary. Better ... everything.

How did I get out?

I stopped caring what my bosses wanted, and everything I did was for me. I learned web skills ... for me. I started a blog ... for me. I started my own Facebook group ... for me. Was I a team player? Sure. Did I write the most stories monthly on my reporter team? Sure. But my real focus was on developing *my* skills.

And those skills were what finally got me out.

You have to focus on the print job ... and develop the skills other employers will want at the same time. Lots of long hours.

Most editing/reporting journalism resumes will not get through human resources for jobs outside the industry. But if you have the skills they are looking for, you at least stand a chance of getting in the door for an interview.

 

[KJIM]

For those of you who are trying to get out or have gotten out, were you ever feeling depressed while still at your journalism job?

Yes. I would cry on the drive in and on the drive back. My boss was horrible to me, and so was the news editor. It was miserable. It wasn't the job so much; it was the way TPTB treated me.

I took a 90-something percent pay cut to quit (Peace Corps), and it was one of the smartest things I've ever done.

It's easy to say "hang in there," but it's just not that easy to do. Good luck.

 

[BB Bobcat]

I actually love my newspaper job.

What depresses me is the feeling that i will inevitably get laid off and/or the paper will just fold.

I've got 20 years left to make a living.

 

[Meatie Pie]

Got out before I got to the depressed point.

Knew exactly what job would entail when i got in, and knew depressed point would occur if I reached a certain age and still had to show interest in the exploits of high school athletes.

 

[RecoveringJournalist]

I was a complete basket case for two years from when layoffs started to when I eventually got bounced. They started right after my first kid was born.

By the time it was my turn to go, I think I was relieved.

 

[3_Octave_Fart]

Never. My job is but a small part of my life. I use it to pay for fun. That's the extent of the relationship.

 

[1GreytWriter]

Thanks to all of you who weighed in. It's nice to have some sympathy instead of wearing down my friends and family.

I had an interview today for a marketing position. If I pass through to the next round (and the next), the hiring process will be about 3-4 weeks long, so I'm not typing my two weeks notice just yet. I'm not really in the position to quit without anything else lined up and am just trying to grin and bear it while I wait for an offer.

If anyone has any other advice or stories in the meantime, keep sharing. I'm feeling a little bit better today, but still frustrated/jaded overall, kind of like I regret going to college for journalism in the first place. Or that I didn't do enough to really get in with a sports team.

 

[copperpot]

It got so bad for me that I remember one morning that as I was approaching the office, a song I liked came on the radio, and I decided to drive around for a few more minutes to listen to it. And I just decided to keep going and listening to music for about a half hour past the time I was supposed to be in the office.

Like podunk, one of the saving graces for my sanity and, as it turned out, my future, was to develop my skills. I started making a game of designing my pages as fast as I could. I made sure not to sacrifice quality, but I'd race against an imaginary clock. I looked up a lot of InDesign tutorials and learned how to make more creative and attractive layouts.

I eventually moved to a new city, and the big daily had a designer opening and brought me in. From day one, everyone's talked about how fast I am, a skill I honed to keep boredom at bay. My design skills aren't the best here by any means, but they're certainly above average.

Do whatever you can to make the job more tolerable, more interesting, more fun. That's obviously not always as easy said as done, but if you put your mind to it, you should find some opportunities. And keep at the job search. Good luck.

 

[Bronco77]

I'm not depressed about the job itself (we're understaffed, but that's a given these days). By 2014 standards, the parent company is still better than average -- several cuts above Gannett and many others. The boss is a decent guy who is generally respected by most of us -- he's not warm and fuzzy and won't overwhelm you with praise, but if you work hard and do your job with competence, he generally leaves you alone.

With a job that was all print until recently, about five years before I can consider retiring and a desire to leave on my own terms, I'm like a lot of people on this board -- depressed about the fact that print is circling the drain and wondering if I can survive the race against time. I've recently taken on responsibilities with the e-editions that require working the least desirable shift in our operation in an effort to add new skills and become as valuable as possible (and it's been my experience at the places I've worked that people with modest skills who take on s--- jobs and are willing to do just about anything survive the longest, and sometimes thrive). Not sure it will help in the long run anymore.

 

[airbag2929]

I lost my job at a daily in spring of 2013 and busted it on two part time jobs (16 hr days mostly) until getting a gig at a weekly starting last week. All high schools with a column I get to write each week, so deadlines are flexible. I love it, especially having time to write my stories. Glad I got back in the business!

 

[1GreytWriter]

Several months ago, I was so depressed about my job that I thought a suicide attempt was eminent. I got through two rounds of interviews for what would have been a dream job and at least two other interviews that I really had no illusions would go somewhere (I was shocked I got the interviews, frankly).

Had another rejection who actually gave me decent feedback.

Anyway, I decided to upgrade some skills by taking some college courses but it sparked something in my so I'm going to go back and get a masters. It's in another field so now I have light at the end of the tunnel. It makes things somewhat better, at least in the sense I no longer start crying when I pull into the parking lot.

I have been through some of the same things. I've felt especially hopeless at times when all my family and friends are coming on social media to say they got jobs, especially since they all seemed to be getting the jobs they truly wanted and were on cloud nine. One of my co-workers was recruited away by a big-name company, and I even felt like I'd failed, wondering why he was getting recruited and taking such an awesome job while I couldn't even get a call back. We had the same job title too, so it's not like he was in a drastically different place than me.

Someone I know got a job with a minor league sports team selling tickets, and she was complaining on social media the other night that selling tickets sucks and she hates it. I would've loved to have gotten in with a team, and I was so close to telling her to shut it, then I remembered that "Be grateful you have a job." does nothing for me, so I wouldn't feed her that line either. Still sucked, though, watching someone in with an organization I would've loved to be hired by complaining about her job.