Dear dimwit on the phone

[schiezainc]

Forward the e-mail to your co-worker. Why do you have to answer for him if you're not his boss?

Because I'll just read it on here. Plus, I have no filter dealing with stupidity and would likely respond in some way that would get me fired.
That said, the woman is full of **** bc the top runner did 10 miles in 55 minutes. She said she crossed the finish line befor any of the runners, which means she finished in 1 hour 25 minutes.

Yeah but it's walking.

Walking.

Sorry, but you can be a competitive walker all you want. You're no different than Johnny Smith in Little Rock, Arkansas on a typical Saturday night when he gets off the couch and goes to the fridge for a beer.

Walking is not a newsworthy accomplishment.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

I'd almost forward her the times for both her and the top runner, and ask her if her time is accurate. Just to mess with her head.

Seriously, though, sending her the polite e-mail with the suggestion that she send you another paper if they were better than you was a pretty good idea. Especially after you took the pains to tell her that you had just returned from your honeymoon.

When I got married, I was still at my one-man shop, and I ended up missing two weeks of work during the fall season for my ceremony, which was in my parents' hometown hundreds of miles away, and my honeymoon. Several people called to ask me to cover stuff during that time. I'd tell them that I was on vacation for then, which I'd hear a little bit of grumbling. Then I'd explain to them about my upcoming wedding, and to a person, their attitude changed to "Congratulations!" and other stuff like that.

So really, that woman was an idiot.

 

[schiezainc]

You thought I was being polite in that email? Wow. Score for me then.

I was actually kind of being an asshole.

We're one of two papers in the entire state (Actually, let me amend that, we're one of two papers period) that cover the race and the other one doesn't run results of the runners, let alone the walkers. (The editor and I are on pretty cool terms and we talk about these things. He loathes events like these).

Because of this, I know we did the best job of covering the race. And if she wasn't such an arrogant **** who only complained because her picture wasn't in the paper, she'd know that.

And I actually felt bad about missing this race only because I love, genuinely love, covering it. It's my favorite event of the day. That being said, I can personally guarantee you she'll NEVER get her picture in this paper for this race for as long as I work here. Guaranteed.

 

[TrooperBari]

You thought I was being polite in that email? Wow. Score for me then.

I was actually kind of being an asshole.

You have previously shown great skill in the field of assholery. That, by comparison, was mild, not to mention on point -- just the right amount of being conciliatory and snarky.

Just to be on the safe side, I usually write my long, nasty e-mails in a text document before deleting them. No sense in risking it getting auto-saved as a draft and sent later without your knowledge.

 

[schiezainc]

You thought I was being polite in that email? Wow. Score for me then.

I was actually kind of being an asshole.

You have previously shown great skill in the field of assholery. That, by comparison, was mild, not to mention on point -- just the right amount of being conciliatory and snarky.

Just to be on the safe side, I usually write my long, nasty e-mails in a text document before deleting them. No sense in risking it getting auto-saved as a draft and sent later without your knowledge.

I've really kind of mellowed out the last couple of years. Maybe it's starting to show even when I don't intend it to.

And, yeah, I usually vent out in a text document and then chop out the things I think I'm an asshole for saying.

 

[apeman33]

You thought I was being polite in that email? Wow. Score for me then.

I was actually kind of being an asshole.

You have previously shown great skill in the field of assholery. That, by comparison, was mild, not to mention on point -- just the right amount of being conciliatory and snarky.

Just to be on the safe side, I usually write my long, nasty e-mails in a text document before deleting them. No sense in risking it getting auto-saved as a draft and sent later without your knowledge.

I've really kind of mellowed out the last couple of years. Maybe it's starting to show even when I don't intend it to.

And, yeah, I usually vent out in a text document and then chop out the things I think I'm an asshole for saying.

To be honest on my art, I probably wouldn't have responded at all. I've realized I've been getting a shorter fuse the past year and a half that I've been also the "interim" managing editor. Since then, I just figure, "You know what? Let 'em vent and let it go." About 75-percent of the time, they're calling just to ***** and they have no real interest in your explanation.

Putting "interim" in quotes is my concession of the apparent reality that they intend to keep making me do this forever without telling me that they think being both sports editor and managing editor is working just simply because we're not failing to put out a paper.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

You thought I was being polite in that email? Wow. Score for me then.

I was actually kind of being an asshole.

You have previously shown great skill in the field of assholery. That, by comparison, was mild, not to mention on point -- just the right amount of being conciliatory and snarky.

Just to be on the safe side, I usually write my long, nasty e-mails in a text document before deleting them. No sense in risking it getting auto-saved as a draft and sent later without your knowledge.

I've really kind of mellowed out the last couple of years. Maybe it's starting to show even when I don't intend it to.

And, yeah, I usually vent out in a text document and then chop out the things I think I'm an asshole for saying.

To be honest on my art, I probably wouldn't have responded at all. I've realized I've been getting a shorter fuse the past year and a half that I've been also the "interim" managing editor. Since then, I just figure, "You know what? Let 'em vent and let it go." About 75-percent of the time, they're calling just to ***** and they have no real interest in your explanation.

Putting "interim" in quotes is my concession of the apparent reality that they intend to keep making me do this forever without telling me that they think being both sports editor and managing editor is working just simply because we're not failing to put out a paper.

Please tell me they're actually compensating you, someway, for this "Interim" tag.

And if not, depending on your personal circumstances, of course, maybe it's time tyou fail to put out the paper on occasion.

 

[apeman33]

You thought I was being polite in that email? Wow. Score for me then.

I was actually kind of being an asshole.

You have previously shown great skill in the field of assholery. That, by comparison, was mild, not to mention on point -- just the right amount of being conciliatory and snarky.

Just to be on the safe side, I usually write my long, nasty e-mails in a text document before deleting them. No sense in risking it getting auto-saved as a draft and sent later without your knowledge.

I've really kind of mellowed out the last couple of years. Maybe it's starting to show even when I don't intend it to.

And, yeah, I usually vent out in a text document and then chop out the things I think I'm an asshole for saying.

To be honest on my art, I probably wouldn't have responded at all. I've realized I've been getting a shorter fuse the past year and a half that I've been also the "interim" managing editor. Since then, I just figure, "You know what? Let 'em vent and let it go." About 75-percent of the time, they're calling just to ***** and they have no real interest in your explanation.

Putting "interim" in quotes is my concession of the apparent reality that they intend to keep making me do this forever without telling me that they think being both sports editor and managing editor is working just simply because we're not failing to put out a paper.

Please tell me they're actually compensating you, someway, for this "Interim" tag.

And if not, depending on your personal circumstances, of course, maybe it's time tyou fail to put out the paper on occasion.

I have received two bonuses and I received compensation in January for 2009 vacation days I was unable to use because of this mess. And I may have to be compensated for some unused vacation days again this year.

And on occasion I have said "I can't make deadline" and been as much as two hours late, which is even more critical since we're all-mail delivery. Since I'm the only one on salary and there's a no-overtime edict, I'm always the last one here. Missing deadline that badly was one of the many things that got my predecessor fired but I've only heard about it once during these 18 months (probably because that's my only fallacy and it's probably not unexpected that I'll miss deadline with this workload).

I nearly walked out in November. I should probably quit, but I have nowhere to go.

 

[Ace]

Give me a 30-minute head start, and I'll win almost most any 5K in the world.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

You thought I was being polite in that email? Wow. Score for me then.

I was actually kind of being an asshole.

You have previously shown great skill in the field of assholery. That, by comparison, was mild, not to mention on point -- just the right amount of being conciliatory and snarky.

Just to be on the safe side, I usually write my long, nasty e-mails in a text document before deleting them. No sense in risking it getting auto-saved as a draft and sent later without your knowledge.

I've really kind of mellowed out the last couple of years. Maybe it's starting to show even when I don't intend it to.

And, yeah, I usually vent out in a text document and then chop out the things I think I'm an asshole for saying.

To be honest on my art, I probably wouldn't have responded at all. I've realized I've been getting a shorter fuse the past year and a half that I've been also the "interim" managing editor. Since then, I just figure, "You know what? Let 'em vent and let it go." About 75-percent of the time, they're calling just to ***** and they have no real interest in your explanation.

Putting "interim" in quotes is my concession of the apparent reality that they intend to keep making me do this forever without telling me that they think being both sports editor and managing editor is working just simply because we're not failing to put out a paper.

Please tell me they're actually compensating you, someway, for this "Interim" tag.

And if not, depending on your personal circumstances, of course, maybe it's time tyou fail to put out the paper on occasion.

I have received two bonuses and I received compensation in January for 2009 vacation days I was unable to use because of this mess. And I may have to be compensated for some unused vacation days again this year.

And on occasion I have said "I can't make deadline" and been as much as two hours late, which is even more critical since we're all-mail delivery. Since I'm the only one on salary and there's a no-overtime edict, I'm always the last one here. Missing deadline that badly was one of the many things that got my predecessor fired but I've only heard about it once during these 18 months (probably because that's my only fallacy and it's probably not unexpected that I'll miss deadline with this workload).

I nearly walked out in November. I should probably quit, but I have nowhere to go.

One big difference, though. Your predecessor didn't have to do your job in addition to his.

At least your paper has somewhat attempted to compensate you for making you do two jobs, even though the cynical person in me figures that those bonuses sure don't equal the extra salary that you should be making for doing two jobs.

 

[apeman33]

You figure right, Baron. And the company didn't want to set a precedent for compensating me for the unused vacation time. I'm almost certain the publisher paid me that out of her own pocket.

 

[Inky_Wretch]

Dear Mr. Mayor of a small town about 35 minutes from the city,

Yes, I received your letter addressed "To Whom It May Concern." I am sorry budget constraints have made you consider dropping the school's subscription to the newspaper. But that won't make me up the amount of coverage your volleyball and girls track program gets this coming school year.

We covered your school pretty well last year, especially considering we have only 223 subscribers in your town. Your school got more coverage than the town that has 451 subscribers (mainly because none of their teams posted a winning record last year).

By the way, what does it say about your priorities if you're thinking about dropping out of the NIE program due to sports coverage?

Thanks,
Inky

 

[Pilot]

Once covered a rodeo kid named J2. Not a nickname, but his actual name.

My latest calls since leaving sports involve people wanting me to give them legal advice about how to contact the governor and get the DUI against their kids dropped. I **** you not.

We've had many a near fight in the newsroom because some dope walks in and wants his ticket or DUI left out of the police report. Sorry, don't want in the police report, don't drive drunk or get a ticket.

We once had an editor change how the police report went into the paper because the arrested party was a friend and former co-worker back in town visiting, and she told him the police report was wrong and he trusted her.

 

[TheHacker]

Dear Technophobe who doesn't know the difference between an e-mail address and a URL:

When I told you last Friday to send us your youth league registration announcement and gave you the address, I assumed you understood that you weren't supposed to type it into your browser with "www" in front of it. So when you called me this morning and said, "I need somebody to walk me through this, because it's not working," you provided our newsroom with a nice little much-needed laugh for a Monday morning.

Since you've apparently been under a rock for the last 15 years, if it has an "@" symbol in it, open your favorite e-mail application or go to www.web-based-email-for-dimwits-on-the-phone.com and send it to me from there.

With my sincere hopes that you learn how to navigate the Internet, because it's probably not going away ...

TheHacker

 

[ConnSptsEditor]

Yes, there are thousands of dimwits we have to deal with and coaches who don't help us out by calling in.

But I once had a wise old editor who reminded me, quite forcefully, "It's not our job to get them to call in. It's our job to get the information into the paper no matter what it takes."

Bottom line is he's right. It sucks, but we have to put up with it and call the coaches who don't call us because our job is to report.

 

[HanSenSE]

guy probably just bought a new computer with e-mail stamps and an any key ...

 

[Ace]

Dear Technophobe who doesn't know the difference between an e-mail address and a URL:

When I told you last Friday to send us your youth league registration announcement and gave you the address, I assumed you understood that you weren't supposed to type it into your browser with "www" in front of it. So when you called me this morning and said, "I need somebody to walk me through this, because it's not working," you provided our newsroom with a nice little much-needed laugh for a Monday morning.

Since you've apparently been under a rock for the last 15 years, if it has an "@" symbol in it, open your favorite e-mail application or go to www.web-based-email-for-dimwits-on-the-phone.com and send it to me from there.

With my sincere hopes that you learn how to navigate the Internet, because it's probably not going away ...

TheHacker

FWIW, some of the most popular Google searches are for things like: www.aol.com or www.nfl.com, etc.

 

[SportsDude]

Once covered a rodeo kid named J2. Not a nickname, but his actual name.

My latest calls since leaving sports involve people wanting me to give them legal advice about how to contact the governor and get the DUI against their kids dropped. I **** you not.

We've had many a near fight in the newsroom because some dope walks in and wants his ticket or DUI left out of the police report. Sorry, don't want in the police report, don't drive drunk or get a ticket.

We once had an editor change how the police report went into the paper because the arrested party was a friend and former co-worker back in town visiting, and she told him the police report was wrong and he trusted her.

The cops used to do that for us. Business owners, prominent family members - they were all redacted from the police reports before we got them. I started holding them up to the light, and I could usually read what was underneath the black marker.

 

[Petrie]

Dear Technophobe who doesn't know the difference between an e-mail address and a URL:

When I told you last Friday to send us your youth league registration announcement and gave you the address, I assumed you understood that you weren't supposed to type it into your browser with "www" in front of it. So when you called me this morning and said, "I need somebody to walk me through this, because it's not working," you provided our newsroom with a nice little much-needed laugh for a Monday morning.

Since you've apparently been under a rock for the last 15 years, if it has an "@" symbol in it, open your favorite e-mail application or go to www.web-based-email-for-dimwits-on-the-phone.com and send it to me from there.

With my sincere hopes that you learn how to navigate the Internet, because it's probably not going away ...

TheHacker

My SE hasn't figured this out yet, actually.

 

[BillyT]

Yes, there are thousands of dimwits we have to deal with and coaches who don't help us out by calling in.

But I once had a wise old editor who reminded me, quite forcefully, "It's not our job to get them to call in. It's our job to get the information into the paper no matter what it takes."

Bottom line is he's right. It sucks, but we have to put up with it and call the coaches who don't call us because our job is to report.

This is a great way to look at it.