Cole Hamels

[wickedwritah]

"On his off days, Cole Hamels kicks Chuck Norris' ass and then sleeps with Chuck's woman. When she regains her strength (on Coles's scheduled start days), she kicks Chuck's ass."

 

[shotglass]

"When Smokey the Bear said, "Only you can prevent forest fires," he was speaking only to Cole Hamels."

 

[Trey Beamon]

Cole Hamels invented the C-section when he threw a 100 mph fastball through his mother's belly. ;D