Basketball Gamer

[smsu_scribe]

Hey all. Wanted to put another gamer up and get a few critiques. The story's been published, but I'll be covering this same beat all winter and I want to be better at the end of the season than I was starting out. Thanks.

The Southwest Minnesota State University women's basketball team ran over Chadron State University (NE) in a 111-75 victory by playing just the way Head Coach Mike Jewett prefers-aggressively on defense and with an up-tempo pace on offense.

"That's the kind of style I love. That's what Coach [Jewett] harps about all the time. We like to push it a lot," said junior guard Megan Stadler.

SMSU (3-1) stole the ball a season-high of 17 times in the game and outscored Chadron (0-1) 35-9 on points off turnovers. 10 of the steals came in the game's first 20 minutes, as the Mustangs rushed out to a 60-36 lead at halftime. Jewett felt that his team executed its defensive strategy well.
"We really pressured the ball and we were up in the passing lanes. That combination created some difficulty on the offensive end for Chadron and really led to some easy scoring opportunities for us," said Jewett.
Jewett believes that his team is well-suited to run a fast-paced offense throughout the season.

"I think we've got the athletic ability and we've got the ball handlers that we should be able to do that," Jewett said. "I don't know that every game is going to come as easy as it did today, but I think that was a point of emphasis for us coming in."
SMSU sophomore guard Heather Smith led all scorers with 29 points in just her fourth game with the Mustangs. Prior to coming to Marshall last spring, Smith played one season for Division I Liberty University, of Lynchburg, Virginia. She shot 9-12 from the field, including 5-7 from beyond the arc. After a slow start to the season, Smith feels that she's regained her touch.

"I've been shooting extra [in practice.] The first few games we played, I wasn't really on. My teammates just got me good looks and once you start making a few you have the confidence to continue making [shots,]" Smith said.

Senior forward Sara Leidall and senior guard Abby Oakland also reached double figures in scoring for the Mustangs. Leidall finished with 13 points and now needs ten more to reach 1,000 for her career. Oakland shot 4-5 from behind the arc to finish with 12 points. She also snagged ten rebounds to record the first double-double of her career.

With 32 assists, the Mustangs shattered their previous season high of 17 assists. Stadler scored just four points in the contest but dished off seven assists to lead all players. She says that her role on the team consists mainly of distributing.
"I love to pass and my coach yells at me every single day about how I need to shoot some more. So on my part, I love to pass," Stadler said.

Stadler said that the team's performance was ideal for its home-opener.
"It's always good to win at home. We've been working hard, so it was good to get a win," Stadler said.

 

[Angola!]

My edits are in bold:

The Southwest Minnesota State University women's basketball team ran over Chadron State University (NE) -- Is this an abbreviation for a state? If so, I assume it is Nebraska. AP Style says to use Neb. and I'd put it in parentheses after the word 'State' in a 111-75 victory by playing just the way Head Coach -- this is not capitalized Mike Jewett prefers-aggressively -- I'm not sure why this is hyphenated, but it shouldn't be on defense and with an up-tempo pace on offense.

"That's the kind of style I love. That's what Coach -- not capitalized [Jewett] harps about all the time. We like to push it a lot," said junior guard Megan Stadler. -- this should read: junior guard Megan Stadler said or said Megan Stadler, a junior guard.

SMSU (3-1) stole the ball a season-high of 17 times in the game and outscored Chadron (0-1) I'd put their record somewhere else, so there isn't a bunch of numbers in a row. 35-9 on points off turnovers. 10 -- this should be written out. Numbers which start sentences are also spelled outof the steals came in the game's first 20 minutes, as the Mustangs rushed out to a 60-36 lead at halftime. Jewett felt that his team executed its defensive strategy well.
"We really pressured the ball and we were up in the passing lanes. That combination created some difficulty on the offensive end for Chadron and really led to some easy scoring opportunities for us," said Jewett. -- it pretty much is always Jewett said. Said doesn't go in front of the name. Also, I'd put the coach's name at the end of the first sentence, rather than at the end of the quote. You want the reader to know who is talking pretty quickly.
Jewett believes that his team is well-suited to run a fast-paced offense throughout the season.

"I think we've got the athletic ability and we've got the ball handlers that we should be able to do that," Jewett said. "I don't know that every game is going to come as easy as it did today, but I think that was a point of emphasis for us coming in."
SMSU sophomore guard Heather Smith led all scorers with 29 points in just her fourth game with the Mustangs. Prior to coming to Marshall last spring, Smith played one season for You need NCAA here, because there are different levels. For all we as a reader know, she played NAIA Division IDivision I Liberty University, of Lynchburg, Virginia -- this shouldn't be spelled out. Check your AP Stylebook for proper state abbreviations. She shot 9-12 from the field, including 5-7 from beyond the arc. After a slow start to the season, Smith feels that she's regained her touch.

"I've been shooting extra [in practice.] -- are the brackets part of your paper's style? I'd use parentheses. The first few games we played, I wasn't really on. My teammates just got me good looks and once you start making a few you have the confidence to continue making [shots,]" Smith said.

Senior forward Sara Leidall and senior guard Abby Oakland also reached double figures in scoring for the Mustangs. Leidall finished with 13 points and now needs ten -- Any number over nine should be numerical, unless it is starting a sentencemore to reach 1,000 for her career. Oakland shot 4-5 from behind the arc to finish with 12 points. She also snagged ten -- should be 10 rebounds to record the first double-double of her career.

With 32 assists, the Mustangs shattered their previous season high -- should be hyphenatedof 17 assists. Stadler scored just four points in the contest but dished off -- i don't like this word. It should be out seven assists to lead all players. She says that her role on the team consists mainly of distributing.
"I love to pass and my coach yells at me every single day about how I need to shoot some more. So on my part, I love to pass," Stadler said. -- to be honest, I don't even know what this quote means. It would have made more sense if you stopped at 'more'.

Stadler said that the team's performance was ideal for its home-opener.
"It's always good to win at home. We've been working hard, so it was good to get a win," Stadler said.

For your age, this is a good start. You need to clean some stuff up and avoid using the word 'that' when it isn't needed.

Is your college paper a weekly or daily or what? If it is a weekly and your women's team plays multiple games in a week, I'd take an entirely different approach to the stories. But without knowing that information, this was an OK story.

Thanks for sharing.

 

[smsu_scribe]

Angola-

Thanks for the suggestions. The paper comes out every other week. We're a pretty small school. Just to comment quick on the places where the people quoted in my story were not acknowledged until the entire quote was finished: I honestly turned in my story with the attributions done the way you've suggested, after the first sentence or whenever there's an appropriate break. Only after the paper came out did I realize that my editors had inexplicably changed that. It's pretty frustrating to see the editors do that.

But anyways, you said that if the paper was a weekly, you would take a different approach to the stories. Can you explain? It does look like my stories are more suited for a daily paper. Per issue, I typically have 2-3 women's gamers.

 

[Angola!]

Angola-

Thanks for the suggestions. The paper comes out every other week. We're a pretty small school. Just to comment quick on the places where the people quoted in my story were not acknowledged until the entire quote was finished: I honestly turned in my story with the attributions done the way you've suggested, after the first sentence or whenever there's an appropriate break. Only after the paper came out did I realize that my editors had inexplicably changed that. It's pretty frustrating to see the editors do that.

But anyways, you said that if the paper was a weekly, you would take a different approach to the stories. Can you explain? It does look like my stories are more suited for a daily paper. Per issue, I typically have 2-3 women's gamers.

I would definitely not do game stories.

I would do maybe a 8-inch wrapup on the games -- 2 to 3 paragraphs on each game.

Then I would do a feature story for each issue. If you only have papers every two weeks, then you should be able to do a feature on a lot of different players.

Another thing you could introduce would be an 8-10 inch story each issue on an alumni of the basketball team. Where they are and what they are doing type thing.

You could also do a preview of whatever is coming up.

If your paper comes out every two weeks, then everyone on campus already knows what happened in the games, so you should delve deeper than results.

 

[smsu_scribe]

The game stories are mainly for the website. I get them in quickly and try to keep our sports webpage updated. You're right about the features. It certainly lends itself to a lot of them. I've been doing one or two each issue. Sounds like an interesting concept with the alumni. I'll try to see if any notable alumni are doing notable things these days.

 

[Songbird]

I'd work on the lede. Make it more punchy and shorter.

 

[Donegan17]

I would punch up the lede as well, but it's not bad as it is. It's straightforward and people reading the story probably just want the basic info. No need to get too cute with gamers, although be creative, doing them gets old fast.