Annoying thing No. 37

[greenlantern]

So we're getting Dixie Youth baseball scores called, all of them going on the agate page. A guy calling in every night wants us to put in the paper, "Little Johnny Dumbass played great defense."
Well stop the ****ing presses. Why do people not get how that is not objective at all? Bugs the living **** out of me.

 

[ColbyJackCoombs]

But it says right at the top of the front page that it's the "Bumble**** County Tribune."

****brick is a town in Bumble**** County ergo you should be cheering for LJD's great defense. If you don't celebrate his wonderful accomplishments, you must be biased against ****brick.

Come to think of it, you did write more stories about Jimmy Swizzledick over in Sheepbang and how he overcame cancer to come back and help his team win the Junior World Series and all.

But Little Johnny Dumbass is good too. You weren't there, though. You never come to ****brick's games.

Blah, blah, blah. I hate parents.

 

[Batman]

So we're getting Dixie Youth baseball scores called, all of them going on the agate page. A guy calling in every night wants us to put in the paper, "Little Johnny Dumbass played great defense."
Well stop the ****ing presses. Why do people not get how that is not objective at all? Bugs the living **** out of me.

Not to mention that his mom probably kept the book, so that ball that kicked off his glove?
Bad hop single.
The time he ran over his own shortstop chasing after a pop up?
Lost it in the sun, base hit.
The ball that went through his legs?
Runner flashed in front of him, gotta be a hit.
The throw he chunked over the concession stand and broke a windshield with?
Runner bumped his arm as he went by. Let's just write down "interference" here...

 

[JBHawkEye]

Someone submitted a story suggestion through our online form about one of the Little League All-Star teams.

One of the questions on the form is "Why do you think this is a good story?" The answer: "Because these kids work hard and deserve recognition." I started laughing when I read that.

 

[zeke12]

Mrs. Uggla?

 

[Steak Snabler]

So you just put in a line that says "coach Jimmy Never-was cited Little Johnny Dumb**** for his defensive play Wednesday night."

Big ****ing deal. It would be the same thing if you covered the game and he told you that in a direct quote.

It's youth league ball. It's not like you're covering the White House.

 

[ColbyJackCoombs]

So you just put in a line that says "coach Jimmy Never-was cited Little Johnny Dumb**** for his defensive play Wednesday night."

Maybe if there was a story, but this is just scores for the agate page.

 

[2muchcoffeeman]

So we're getting Dixie Youth baseball scores called, all of them going on the agate page. A guy calling in every night wants us to put in the paper, "Little Johnny Dumbass played great defense."
Well stop the ****ing presses. Why do people not get how that is not objective at all? Bugs the living **** out of me.

You realize that's Johnny Dumbass Sr. calling in the scores, right?

 

[greenlantern]

So you just put in a line that says "coach Jimmy Never-was cited Little Johnny Dumb**** for his defensive play Wednesday night."

Maybe if there was a story, but this is just scores for the agate page.

Bingo. Stats are concrete, but my definition of good defense and this guy's definition of good defense could be completely different.

 

[Baron Scicluna]

What I usually do is ask the coach if the kid made a specific play that made the great defense. Sometimes, the kid really does do something special.

Otherwise, we can always just put in the 'Johnny did a great job defensively.' After all, I wouldn't want to be responsible for Johnny's parents having to work hard to put their kid through college because I forgot to mention him and cost him a scholarship.

 

[greenlantern]

After all, I wouldn't want to be responsible for Johnny's parents having to work hard to put their kid through college because I forgot to mention him and cost him a scholarship.

He can always sign up for the McDonald's employee baseball team.

 

[mustangj17]

You should tell him you have e-reporter, then he can't blame it on you if it doesn't list Johnny's great defensive skills and or height.

 

[greenlantern]

You should tell him you have e-reporter, then he can't blame it on you if it doesn't list Johnny's great defensive skills and or height.

It'll list his height, just not his stats.

 

[Joe Williams]

People need to go back to talking about "fielding" if they're going to talk baseball. Screw "defense" -- that's for football and basketball.

 

[mike311gd]

Mrs. Uggla?

Isn't it enough that we've got an entire thread devoted to Uggla's poor play, Zeke? Must we keep raking him?

He tries, Zeke. Let him be.

 

[slappy4428]

So we're getting Dixie Youth baseball scores called, all of them going on the agate page. A guy calling in every night wants us to put in the paper, "Little Johnny Dumbass played great defense."
Well stop the ****ing presses. Why do people not get how that is not objective at all? Bugs the living **** out of me.

Does he understand that's subjective?

 

[Small Town Guy]

Tell him it might seem like his kid is a good fielder, but until he can produce Johnny's expected runs cost/saved relative to the average fielder number, you ain't putting it in the agate page.

http://stat.wharton.upenn.edu/~stjensen/research/safe.html

 

[Jay Sherman]

I got the stupidest e-mail from a parent the other day. A game went 6 innings, I wrote "Starter Stephens lasted five innings and allowed 4 runs" and the parent goes "Starter Stephens was relieved by Johnny Jerkoff in the 6th inning". I wrote her back and said that I didn't say that SS lasted all game. I forget the rest, I'm kinda drunk.

 

[apeman33]

We had 47 swim team photos that the swim club wanted us to put in the paper last year (not, 47, obviously, but a number too high to print even over a number of issues). So we printed the two or three youngest age groups in the paper and directed people to the web site for the rest (including the ones we already ran since the ones on the web were in color while the print ed was B&W that day).

Not good enough, of course. Why? Because "a lot of the grandparents don't have the Internet." So print off a copy of the page and give it to your technologically-impaired grandparents and leave me alone.

My dad, who's 63, knows more about computers and the Internet than I do, so age is no excuse for not being able to check your grandkids' pics on the website.

 

[bueller]

I got the stupidest e-mail from a parent the other day. A game went 6 innings, I wrote "Starter Stephens lasted five innings and allowed 4 runs" and the parent goes "Starter Stephens was relieved by Johnny Jerkoff in the 6th inning". I wrote her back and said that I didn't say that SS lasted all game. I forget the rest, I'm kinda drunk.

Long ago, in a far off land, a mom blistered me in a voice mail. "How dare you call my daughter a losing pitcher?"

Mom continued with, in this order, how well her daughter threw and how hard she worked and how devastated she was at being called such a bad thing and, of course, how bad the umpire was.