All-Area headache No. 9,283: wimping out on picks

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Starman

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Oct 12, 2002
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Although most fall All-Area teams are safely in the can, it's always a good time to open up the bitchfest again.

One thing that bugs the hell out of me is when writers (I've worked with a few) either inflate the All-Area team to gargantuan size, making everyone who can run down the field or court more than twice without falling down an all-star, announce "Co-POYs" or "Co-COYs," or add all sorts of booby-prize side selections such as "defensive player to watch next year," "unsung special-team standout," blah blah yack yack.

The argument usually comes down to, "I want to keep as many coaches/parents/players happy as possible," "They both had good seasons," or most ridiculous, "I don't think it's right that WE decide who had a better season than somebody else."

In that case, why do it at all?? ::) ::)

When I pick my A-A teams, they are real teams: Twenty-two (22) football players, 23 if there is a REAL good kicker in the area. Five (5) basketball players. Ten (10) baseball/softball players, plus 2-4 pitchers at most. One DH only, and they damn well ALSO better be a good field position player, too.

No teams with four quarterbacks and five running backs on the "first team." And One (1) POY and One (1) COY.
 
Agreed. This is one of my worst pet-peeves.

Co-Players of the Year are NEVER, EVER applicable. I will never be convinced it is, so don't even try. Don't be a beyotch -- pick one. Life will indeed go on. Trust me.

All area arguments that last more than five minutes are a waste of everyone's time.

And writers/editors that want to include a few extra players just to make everyone happy, well....they make me want to puke. Along with those that want to pick at least one person from every team to make the coaches happy. Stop it!

Rant over. Carry on.
 
The bigger headache is getting accurate stats on the kids. The football coaches I've dealt with were nasty about sticking the stats in a folder and trying to forget them as soon as the season ended.
 
When you include that many players, you cheapen the honor. When my papers picked all-area, we went with five (or nine or 11, depending upon the story). And no copout with an MVP, then an offensive MVP, and a defensive MVP, and 22 more players.
 
I don't have a huge problem with a fairly deep honorable-mention list. Outside of that, what you all are saying rings true with me.
 
I don't have anything against an offensive and defensive POY, but never a co-POY for either. I'm also not against one overall POY choice, either.
 
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Agreed!
I work at a publication that is notorious for this. I love to death both the guys who do these teams, but I loathe eight-player all-area volleyball teams, or eight-player all-area basketball teams, co-POY, etc., etc. Hate it.
 
After being a stubborn asshole, I got my player of the year pick.

I keep it simple: 11 on offense, 11 on defense, 2-3 special teams, five all-purpose honorable mention. In an area with close to 30 teams, a list with 29-30 kids isn't bad. There are plenty of teams that don't get represented because their kids suck.
 
The all-whatevers just plain suck. It's way too much work to do when 19,000 other sports are going on, and it'd darn near impossible to do it well when you're a one-man sports shop.

I've always avoided all-whatever teams after my first gig sports writing at weekly. This weekly always did the all-whatever teams. I picked 'em that year and got death threats. My editor said that was normal, and he liked them because he printed all the letters from pissed off parents.

Well, I didn't like walking into that gym for a basketball game after my all-football team came out. It seemed like everyone in the gym stop talking and looked at me when I walked in the door.

Also, who are the ****ers that work at a paper? What qualifies newspaper hacks to determine who the best players are in a given area?

Other than selling papers or generating interest in the paper, I see no benefit of these stupid picks four, five and eight times a year.
 
Hey,

You guys are so right. For that, I am gonna vote you all co-posters of the year.

Congrats.
 
do you include your player of the year on the all-area team as well?
So if the best QB was your POY, was he also the QB on the team, or did you have another QB
when I did all-area teams I didn't, but I also made them position-specific, so the best center was the center, not the five best offensive linemen.
 
I'm not a big fan of co-players of the year, however we'll often do it for tennis when it's a doubles team. Tough to pick one over the other.

For football, we do it like a real time, 11 offensive player and 11 defensive players. There's a kicker, a punter and a coach. However, this year I had a kid who had a monster impact with no real primary position, so we gave him a "utility" tag. That's probably a cop out, but I felt he deserved to be recognized in some way.
 
All Area tennis teams should not exist. Ever.

And unless your shop only covers five or six schools, why pick an offensive line specific to position? Too much work.
 
for football we do one QB, 2 RB, 3 WR/TE, 5OL, 1 K and 2 all-purpose - defensive: 4OL/LB/DB, one all-purpose and a punter.

I don't feel that is overkill, although it's a couple more than 11. i agree for other sports however, like volleyball and basketball.

and i try to avoid co-POY or COy whenever I can. So far, with two teams left to announce, have had no complaints. I hope that doesn't jinx me.
 
sartrean said:
Other than selling papers or generating interest in the paper, I see no benefit of these stupid picks four, five and eight times a year.

Uhhh, that's kinda like the only reason to do anything.
 
I couldn't agree more with you Star. At the place I'm at, it actually reached ridiculous levels in some sports, which led to a new standard for all sports.

It certainly has them down, especially for things like cross-country and track.
 
All the shops I have worked at did
Player of the Years and All-area teams in football, basketball, baseball and softball.
POYs in the other sports, with no teams.
We also always had a nominating system in place with the coaches, for players to be considered they had to be nominated and those who didn't make the cut, got on the honorable mention list.
Nothing shuts up a pissed off prep parent faster when they call to complain about Lil' Johnny not making the team was telling them that the coach didn't nominate him. And that the coach didn't nominate anybody since he/she didn't send in the form. Then the coach caught the blame, not me or the paper.
It made some of the coaches unhappy, but they got over it and then they sent in the form the next year.
 
Cross-country, track and swimming -- the stopwatch sports -- are the absolute easiest sports to do all-area teams. I mean, there's nothing to argue about.

Oh yeah, I've had cross-country coaches go into rants, "Limpwrist High runs their meets on an absolutely flat course, their times are all inflated because of that," but the easy response to that is, "Well, why don't you go run on their easy course and pick up some of those inflated times yourself?"

And, of course, you do get the numbnut coaches who refuse/don't bother to report results, and then after the season's over, start bitching, "Well, Freddy Fleetfoot ran a better 3200 meters than the guy on your honor roll, how come he isn't in?"
"Did you call it in?"
"No."
"Well, that's why." ::) ::)

But, otherwise, it's pretty clear-cut.
 
Starman said:
Cross-country, track and swimming -- the stopwatch sports -- are the absolute easiest sports to do all-area teams. I mean, there's nothing to argue about.

Oh yeah, I've had cross-country coaches go into rants, "Limpwrist High runs their meets on an absolutely flat course, their times are all inflated because of that," but the easy response to that is, "Well, why don't you go run on their easy course and pick up some of those inflated times yourself?"

Here's what to do with cross country...Get the top five times for the kids who are fighting for the last spot. That way you give the kids who only run fast on flat courses a chance to have a big gap when they have to run up a hill or two. Then, average them or score them like a cross country race.

I'm in my first few months at a new paper and when it came time to pick the All-County volleyball player of the year, a coworker said, "Well, we should probably just have co-players of the year. I looked at him with a dropped jaw and said, "No way Jose."
 

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