Your perfect woman (or man)

No. No thank you. You're not even close to being my type. Seriously. Not. Even. Close.

 

Actually, that fuse has been burning for a long time.

 

I'm not lacking in anything, Alley. I have a very full and complete life without a man in it. I am independent and self-sufficient. A partner is just that ... a partner. A complement to the other wonderful facets of my life.

 

But, but, but ... my joke. You killed him. He was so young. His face looked like the shaved ass of a dog, but he was so young.

 

Good to know we'll never be fighting for the same woman. That's actually one of my most important prerequisites.

 

My girlfriend ... if only she wasn't a UK fan. No one is perfect.

 

I'm with Ned. The last thing I want is to be talking about sports with the girlfriend. As long as she can appreciate why people play them, I'm good.

 

I married her.
Smart. Funny. Passionate. Compassionate. Affectionate. She's a woman with integrity and character who commands respect by the way she lives her life.
She's an incredible mother who has the love, respect and devotion of her sons.
She's an outstanding professional who is valued and respected in her field.
And she's gorgeous, inside and out.

 

Let me clarify a bit....

I have a fantastic life. I have what I believe is the greatest son on the face of the planet, a job I absolutely love doing every day, a wonderful and supportive family all around me and my own home. While not financially set, I do OK.

What I want for, though, is someone with whom I can share those moments, like today, when I have a good day. Someone I can call and say, "You know what? I did damn good today teaching my first class."

So yeah, a partner really is what I want.

 

I should clarify -- no addictions to substances (booze, heroin, coke).

 

You rang?

 

That does narrow the field quite a bit, although in your neck of the woods that may be an immediate disqualifier for about 99 percent of the men there. Am I right?