Your first time

Not the very first time, but one of the first times I ever went down on a girl stands out in my mind as I read this thread. You see, there was a sports tie-in.

October 25, 1986. A generic dorm on the campus of an eastern Massachusetts university. I'm excited because the Sox will have a chance to win it all that night at Shea. My fellow freshmen buddies are primed with plenty of snacks, beers and weed for the evening ahead.

However, I'm equally excited by my new girlfriend, a very sweet and blazing hot Chinese girl from NY. Shortly before first pitch, we're in her room and we start making out. It starts to get a little steamy, and I'm conscious that I'll probably miss the first few innings. "No big deal," I think.

Well, time flies when you're 17 and thus engaged. After a while, I'm thinking that the game must be well underway, but no chance in hell am I stopping. We're doing things she hasn't let me do before and then, as now, there are a few things in life more important than baseball. Not many, but a few. Anyway...

Finally, after a few hours that seemed like a half hour, I'm going down before the holy of holies. Without going into unnecessary detail, it was a transcendentally pleasing experience on all counts. I'm thanking God for the privilege of being born and praying that my tongue won't get too tired, when suddenly I hear a cry...not from her...a collective cry of anguish from the entire dormitory around us.

"What the hell?" I think. "Something bad involving the Red Sox? I bet it was Schiraldi. Oh well. Lap, lap, lap, munch, munch, munch..." And so, a half hour or so later, following a lovely denouement, I emerge from the chambre d'amour. My buddies are in a haze of cigarette and weed smoke. The cry, of course, was the ball going through Buckner's legs. They were so distraught, they didn't even ask where I'd been. "At least I didn't miss the Sox winning the Series," I thought silently. Anyway, the strange combination of sensory input that I experienced at the moment of Buckner's error is definitely etched onto my memory.

 

Wow. This has been one of the funniest pages in SJ history. Just great stuff all around.

 

Ha! I knew there was a reason I stuck my thumb in her already-drying cooter. Eleven years later, I'm rewarded with the shocker picture.

 

Maybe I should know this, but what, exactly, were you trying to accomplish by sticking your thumb in her? were you trying to scrape her g-spot with your thumbnail? Hitchiking to her clit? Did she have a Fonzie fetish?

 

Next time don't save your best digit for last.

 

Fuck if I know. Seemed like the thing to do.

 

Shit like that's the reason I hang around here.

 

I was wrong. THIS is the funniest thing I've ever read here.

Sorry Mike. You reek of fail again.

 

I really feel like the only way this thread could reach new heights is if Jones comes on here and explains his first time. Other than that, not sure a story's going to top the one by WI.

 

Yeah, I was going to tell the story of my first time, but I will save it for the reincarnation of this thread.

 

A complete thread jacking topped with a thumb sodomization.

This is writhing for thread of the year honors.

 

I wish the same thing, too. I don't think I really started posting here until March, maybe April or May.