Your first time

I'm feeling warm and fuzzy now.

 

Spnited: What a crazy night. Can this newbie fetch someone a beer? This was my headline. What did everybody else use?

 

I spouted off about Tom Verducci being overrated and that he uses too many numbers in his copy. I was quickly smacked back by Elliotte Friedman and suddenly cried like a newborn baby.

 

Before the great crash, it was a post about Raffy not being a hall of famer.

As for the other ... well, the story's out there.

 

Great stuff. That's just like my first time, only there were no drugs involved, we -- me a high-school senior and she, a junior -- were completely sober and alone ... and I knew her name.

I was dating this girl -- shit, I'll just call her "Cumming." She and I were dating for about 13 months, and we began talking about having sex. We'd done everything else more than a few times, but we both wanted to see how the next step felt. So I went to the local CVS, where I found a friend in pharmacy, who told me what to get (she had a lot more experience than me). So I'm all set. I've got my three-pack of condoms and a more-than-willing girlfriend.

About a week before my 18th birthday, she decides we're going to go to my high school's winter formal. I hated most of the people in my school. I hated formals. And I really fucking hated dances. So we went and we danced to Eric Clapton's "Wonderful Tonight," the only song to which I looked remotely coordinated while dancing.

Later that night, we go to my sister's place to hang out with a couple friends. And when I think the night's over as I'm driving her home, she begins to whine: "I thought we were going to have sex tonight." I looked at Cumming and said, "Well why the hell didn't you say anything? I'm fairly sure we would have left my sister's house about three hours ago." And so the night ended.

A few nights later, on my birthday, I really thought it was going to happen. Things are real promising -- a good dinner, a couple hours to ourselves (like I'd need them ...) and we both had that look in our eyes. Then we get to it. The usual petting and making out is happening, and she says, "Do you have a condom?" I probably set a record time jumping from my bed across the room to my dresser drawer, and I slap that bad boy on my bad boy. Then I go in for the kill, and she stops me: "Wait," Cumming said. "I'm scared." That was that. I took the condom off and threw it onto the microwave I had in my room, where it sat in plain view for all who came in my room to see. We laid down for about a half-hour before I took her home. Again, she's upset and starts to cry. She thought I was going to end the 13-month relationship because she wouldn't put out then.

Finally, four days later, we had sex. We were clumsy as hell, at least I was -- she didn't move a muscle. And 31 minutes later (I was curious), we finished up. It was way more of a relief than pleasure for me, and it was apparently the building block for her whorish ways.


Oh, yeah. I think my first post was about Ogden newspapers. Maybe Endy Chavez' amazing catch in Game 7 of the NLCS.

 

31 minutes my ass.

 

That may be the lamest paragraph in history.

 

That's why God made dirt roads.

 

you dated ee's daughter?

 

I'm used to lame.

Three-bags: There aren't any dirt roads in my old town; just a lot of developments and strip malls.

My Captain: Who? (And probably not.)

 

ee cummings....

and you're right. not his daughter.

Great - granddaughter, maybe.

 

I think mike is making a reference to something he posted on another thread, Captain.