You Can't Make this stuff up: Armless, legless girl and wants to cheerlead

This.

If there are cuts, then welcome to the real world, kid. No, despite what your parents told you, you can't be anything you want.

Helen Keller could never be a public speaker. Marlee Matlin's never going to have a singing career. Aaron Gibson is never going to become an astronaut. And Vince Young is never going to become a physicist.

The only way you're going to become a cheerleader is out of sympathy. Sucks, but it's the truth.

I'll stop being a cold-hearted SOB now ...

 

Well...
http://www.perkins.org/vision-loss/helen-keller/
"Many people believe that Keller’s love of language, her great articulateness and grace as a writer and public speaker were built upon this foundation."

 

Think about how high she can be tossed.

 

Hmmm ... in all honesty, I knew she did speeches. But I just assumed someone else was talking for her or something. But, damn, you're right.

Well, you know what they say about assuming: It makes me a fucking idiot.

However, my point still stands: A girl without arms and legs (and no prostheses) cannot dance ... at least not well.

 

I bet she could do a helluva 'Worm'

 

Well, you've certainly proven your ability to put your stereotyped limits on people that they have proven to be able to bust through. So congrats on that.

 

I was completely wrong, but my point is still correct!

 

Let's face it, a girl with no arms and no legs could never be a cheerleader, just like a guy with one leg could never win an NCAA Division I wrestling title ... oh wait.

 

Wouldn't she be easier to throw in the air?

 

I'll take my lumps on this.

I had written an explanation, but I figured I'd just be digging myself a deeper hole. Fire away.

 

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in front of your door?
A. Matt.

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall?
A. Art.

Q. What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs who wants to be a cheerleader?
A. Julia Sullivan, 16, of Aurora, Nebraska.





(OK, and now that I've made two chickenshit jokes at her expense, good for her. She's an inspiration. It seems like they should work to find a compromise here so she can be involved, though being a standard cheerleader will either be awkward or impossible.)