Yes, you can surf in Cleveland before the brown water freezes..

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/12/10/us/10surf.html?em&ex=1165899600&en=a55bfd3b2a7103db&ei=5087%0A



The strongest winds and waves come in winter, just before Lake Erie freezes. Waves up to 10 feet have been surfed, but the largest swells are usually chest-high. Instead of curling into a vertical wall, the waves are round like haystacks, and they collapse onto the shore like soggy paper.

Surfers learn to avoid ice chunks the size of bowling balls. Some wear goggles to surf through freezing rain, which can sting their eyes like needles. That is a bad idea, Mr. Labbe said, because the goggles freeze to their faces.

 

It would be more impressive if they were surfing while the lake was on fire.

 

This is how the attack on America will begin. Canadian special ops forces will surf across the Great Lakes and take siege of the rust belt.

 

It was the river that caught on fire.

 

\
Canadian Bacon!

 

That was a funny story. Gotta hand it to the Times. They manage to find interesting stories out there.

 

It's Cleveland. They're pretty talented at that stuff -- I'm sure that if they set their mind to it, they could light any body of water on fire.

 

There are no bodies of water in Cleveland. Bodies of toxic waste? Yes. But no bodies of water.

 

Leave Cleveland alone, dammit.

At least there aren't sharks and jellyfish in Lake Erie.

 

There's a red moon rising
On the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There's a red moon rising
ON the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There's an oil barge winding
Down the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

There's an oil barge winding
Down the Cuyahoga River
Rolling into Cleveland to the lake

Cleveland, city of light, city of magic
Cleveland, city of light, you're calling me
Cleveland, even now I can remember
'Cause the Cuyahoga River
Goes smokin' through my dreams

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on
Now the Lord can make you tumble
And the Lord can make you turn
And the Lord can make you overflow
But the Lord can't make you burn

Burn on, big river, burn on
Burn on, big river, burn on

 

At least until Jim Tressel and Romeo Crennel decide to go for a swim.

 

He said sharks and jellyfish. Not snakes and jellyfish.