Worst Roommate story ever

Long read ... I'm not even a quarter of the way through it.
Reads like the old Michael Keaton movie, Pacific Heights.

This Is the Worst Roommate Story You’ll Ever Read

 

A gun would solve this. First cat litter clog and I’d be racking the damn shotgun. Out, asshole!

 

Lived with my older brother for a year out of high school. That taught me that roommates are a terrible idea.

 

My initial freshman year college dorm roommate was a 42-year old Luthern minister who'd decided to go back to school to be an architect. I was 18. I called him up before the semester all excited and bursting with new, exciting things like my own football tickets, a new stereo, a loft for our beds, etc. He supplied a phone to the room, and that was it.

One night I had just gotten into bed, midnight or so, and he called over to me. "Hey Pilot, do you want to talk?"

"Uh, no, man, I'm good."
"Well, if you do, that's what I'm here for."
"Ok."

I'd only hesitated to move out because he'd promised he'd be gone every weekend to his girlfriend's and gone all day studying at the library. Maybe having a room to myself 95% of the time wouldn't be so bad, right?

I decided after our weird talk I needed to go, though, so I put the wheels in motion to move out. Then, he burst into the room that afternoon, packed up his stuff — i.e. bed sheets, about four t-shirts and a few pairs of pants — unplugged and took his phone and was gone. Turns out college wasn't for him.

His girlfriend called a few weeks later looking for him. (I'd replaced the phone.)

 

Trying to think of a worse idea than placing a 42-year-old in a dorm with an 18-year-old and failing to come up with one.

“You’ve made the big leap to go to college, spread your wings and get away from your 44-year-old father. Now here’s a 42-year-old man to room with! It won’t be weird! And I bet a 42-year-old college freshman living in a dorm will be perfectly well-adjusted!”

 

Keep reading. It gets worse.

 

They spent the nights together on the couch, drinking wine and watching The Rachel Maddow Show, one of Creek’s favorites.

Of course.

 

Damn it.
I thought boots had returned for a minute.

 

HOLEEE SHIT ....

 

She got all of this from a Google reverse phone number search?

I call bulshit.

Though, if true, it means background checks to buy a gun should be a lot easier than we’ve been told.

Hearing about Creek’s behavior, Alex’s mother asked her daughter for his phone number, then plugged it into Google. She found two articles and didn’t finish reading them before picking up the phone and calling her daughter. “Alex, we have a big problem,” she said. “Jed Creek is not who he says he is.”

Creek’s legal name was Jamison Bachman. In 2012, Bachman had shown up at the home of a woman across town named Melissa Frost, claiming to be a New Yorker whose home had been destroyed in Hurricane Sandy. Overcome with pity, Frost let him in — and nearly lost her house. In an expensive and frightening ordeal that dragged on for months, Bachman slowly laid claim to the space, using his intricate knowledge of tenancy laws to stay one step ahead of her. He scuffed up the floors, kicked down the doors, and clogged the toilets with cat litter. “He went from being this cordial, polite person who understood he was a guest in my house,” Frost said in one of the articles, “to someone who was approaching me aggressively and flat-out saying, ‘This is my house now.’ ”

 

He’s in a single room, so it’s a little different, but this 67-year-old dude has had a dorm room in NYC since 1980.

Man, 67, who kept crash pad at college for almost 40 years | Daily Mail Online

 

Guy I knew in high school went back to his dorm drunk one night and peed on his sleeping roommate’s head.