Worst recurring stories you have to write

Local election preview stories: They lack focus, they're full of idealistic bullshit and I'm putting myself to sleep trying to write a lead for one right now.

Run of the mill weather stories are a close 1A for me. "Two inches of rain drenched the region Monday ..."

Which regularly occurring stories do you guys dread?

 

I hate player profiles. I also despise swimming or track assignments.

 

College signing stories

 

"Troubled athlete turns his life around."

Here we go again.

http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080127/SPORTS05/801270692/1048/SPORTS

I flat-out refuse to write these things.

Almost completely guaranteed to blow up in your face.

Over-under on McCarty's next DUIL arrest or drunken/stoned escapade: 4 weeks.

 

"Where do the championship shirts for the losing team go?!?"

Geez, I read that story every year.

 

Why do you hate Zambia, Dr. Poppy?

 

Any hiring of any new head coach in any sport on any level, ever.

Just once, I'd love for the customary bullshit to be despenced with.

I can't tell you how excited I am to be here. I'm getting a sizable raise, there are better golf courses here and I hope to do enough year to year to not get fired.

The first coach to actually display actual honesty in that introductory presser/interview, I'm licking his earlobes with gratitude.

 

Zambia was so last year -- it's Nicaragua and Romania this year.

And I'm not a Doctor ... I could only wish those intials stood for that.

 

This is the problem with beats. At this point, I could write a "player transfers to Southwestern State" story in my sleep.

Editors may say I have.

 

From the freep.com story link above on McCarty:

"I kissed it and rubbed it," said Luke Sanko, 12.
"And I took it and dangled it around, like this," said the other boy.

The award for best use of an original quote in a recurring story goes to Jo-Ann Barnas...

 

Gas price stories are particularly worthless to me. The kind we write when it goes past a certain milestone, say $3/gallon or whatever. I'm all for stories that actually take an indepth look at what's causing it and how it affects us, but the run-of-the-mill, "Gas hits $3 a gallon in Podunk" are completely worthless.

 

Fan stories.

Fan stories. Hometown team makes the playoffs? Better talk to Joe Schmoe because the paper can't survive without his input!