Worst Bet You Ever Lost

I actually won the bet I described, but it was so stupid I'll tell the story anyway.

In 1970, I made a wager with a high school biology lab partner on the NBA All-Star game. It was only a dollar or two, but think about it - betting on an all-star game which the players aren't even real concerned.

I bet the East, which was favored by 5 1/2 points. The west scored a basket with a couple of seconds to go to make the score 140-135 in favor of the East.

Somebody on the East throws the ball the length of the court to Gus Johnson, who lays it up for a basket on his way to the locker room, making the score 142-135 and winning my bet. It was still stupid.

 

In a 14-month span, I had four wrenching losses that I guess any gambler deserves to have: between $2K-$5K snatched from me four times in awful, acidic fashion from 1999 to 2001. Every one of these stories involves a parlay that was down to its final pick, no pansy, middle-of-a-parlay loss stories from me:

4. Jan. 8, 2000: I have a two-team parlay, Titans to beat the Bills in the money line and the game to be over 38 1/2. I list this fourth, because it was a losing prop all day long. Well, at least until the Music City Miracle. With a couple seconds left on the clock, Kevin Dyson scores that incredible touchdown to make the score 21-16. I know I still need the two-point conversion for my own miracle to occur, so my fingers are crossed. I unfurl my fingers and employ one of them on each hand as Jeff Fisher decides to kick a single extra point. That was the day I began wondering if Jeff Fisher was betting on games, too. Because kicking the point to make it 22-16 was a gambler's move, not remotely the proper coaching move. Obviously, the Bills would have their hands on the ball one more time. If they were to pull off their own miracle, an extra-point kick would win it 23-22. There was zero logic for Fisher not trying to get the spread to seven (and, by extension, crack the over).

3. Sept. 8, 2000, I have St. Louis Cardinals to close out a five-team baseball parlay. They lead 5-2 going to the ninth, and Dave Veres blows the game in Milwaukee.

2. Nov. 28, 1999: As a rookie, Donovan McNabb, down 17-10 leads the Eagles to OT with an 80-yard drive, scoring with seconds on the clock. I had the Redskins - 4 1/2 to close out (not the middle of) a 6-teamer. Eagles won in OT, but the McNabb drive was the killer.... you KNEW they wouldn't kick a FG, they had to get the TD)

1. Jan. 28, 2001: I have The Ravens minus 2 1/2 and the under (funny, I don't recall the exact number anymore... I think it was 36... post-traumatic stress) in SB XXXV against the Giants. It's the most I have ever laid down.
The Ravens are up 10-0 with less than 19 minutes left in the game. The Giants had been dominated almost in 1985 Pats vs. Bears fashion... their offense wasn't scoring a touchdown. And the Ravens' offense, awful to begin with, had started shutting it down and cruising toward the finish. Then, in 36 seconds, 21 points went on the board on a pick-six and two KOs. With 8:45 left in the game, Jamal Lewis put me officially into my misery, with a touchdown.

It really hurt typing that.

Why I haven't bet since that game. I was broken.

 

Guess I killed this thread.

 

So some good came of the terrible accident, then?

 

No, you killed yourself.

 

For some reason, this thread reminded me of why my betting is limited to weekly NFL pools, the March Madness bracket and the $10 baseball bet on a three-team parlay whenever I'm in Vegas (very rarely).

I was 10 years old and rooting for the Phillies in the World Series because my best friend was transplanted from PA. I bet some Orioles fan the Phillies would win Game One. We bet two bucks and I won. The next day, we bet five bucks and me, figuring the Phillies couldn't lose now, agreed. Orioles won (and didn't lose again until 1984) and my dad harrangued me all night long. "You've got the five bucks right? You've got the five bucks to give to Jeff? You've got the five bucks? You need to be careful what if you didn't have the five bucks. You can lose a lot of money, you could use that five bucks couldn't you? You're going to give him the money as soon as you see him, right? And you're not going to bet again are you?"

It worked.

 

Back in university, George Allen returned to coaching at Long Beach State. His opener was against Clemson and the Tigers were 58-point favourites. I had a buddy that loved Clemson. He was yapping about how good they were, how they would kill the 49ers, blah, blah, blah.

I told him there was no way they would cover. We wagered: the loser had to clean the winner's bathroom.

Final score: Clemson 59, Long Beach State 0.

That really sucked.

 

Oops. Bad thread. Bad, bad thread (walking away slowly, whistling ...)

 

SPILL IT!

 

That is great.

If I was the winner in that bet, I would have eaten tacos for a week prior to your arriving to clean. Then I would have told you to hang outside for a minute while I went to the bathroom quick.

 

You're a fucking prick.

 

Oh, I think I'm going to throw up. I'm not a big gambler, but this one hurt.

Being a Houston Oilers fan, I decided to wager $20 or so with a friend on a playoff game. I also had a parlay going that week, and I was going to win $100 or so if my Oilers prevailed.

By halftime, I was celebrating my big win. Then the second half started.

Lord, I need a drink.

The game, as you might guess, was the 1993 AFC Championship title with the Buffalo Bills. And, as you also may know, it went down in the books as the biggest comeback in NFL history.

My Oilers were up 35-3 at the half. They were outscored 35-3 in the second half and lost in overtime.

I should note here that I opted to stick with the team when it moved to Tennessee. I didn't bet on their Super Bowl game, but that yard-short thing makes me sick as well. I remember an Indianapolis Star graphics editor visiting my college and giving a speech about design. He held up a sports page with a giant photo of the game's final play. I wanted to hurt him, badly.