Words of advice

Make sure you tip anyone who can spit in your food or crash your car.

 

Always pass the dutchie to the left-hand side.

 

There is always one asshole in every group. If you can't spot them, it's you.

 

Along those same lines ... If you can't spot the sucker at the poker table, you are the sucker.

 

Don't get your meat and your bread from the same place.

 

Real men don't have lap dogs.

Never date a woman with a dragon tattoo.

And always, always get chili on your nachos bellgrande.


;D

 

Wear sunscreen.

 

If it didn't come from the television screen, it probably isn't true.

 

There's no such thing as a free lunch.

 

If two women are fighting, don't get in the middle of it.

 

Anyhoo, one from my mother: Everything happens for the best. Actually, it's usually true, tho sometimes it takes awhile to find that out.

 

Don't ever wake up in a good mood.

I'll never make that mistake again.