Wife and Kids question for all

It was My Wife and Kids, starring one of the Wayans. But if the thread title was just shorthand, then it's all good.

 

Sadly that's what our profession is all about. It's about working your ass off until you drop dead basically. I sense trouble for you my friend. You boss doesn't care at all about your family time. You may have to pull the lawsuit threat on him. 40 hours and out.

 

Married 13 years with two kids (4 & 2) and yes, journalism has its challenges, but I love my job so it's been worth the sacrifices. There is plenty to be thankful for with having a flexible schedule and the ability to work from home...plenty of drawbacks as well...salary being the obvious.

We were able to build up some home equity and are hoping to live on my sports writing salary (mostly) with a move to a lower cost of living...we're on the spendy West Coast at the moment.

 

My fiancee has been dealing with me and this job for three years and she still doesn't get the fact that I'm going to be working pretty much every Friday night in the fall and during the winter season, I'm working seven days a week.
In the spring and fall, I generally work three days a week (Football being an exception) because we cover double and triple headers for our weekly papers. During the winter, we don't have that luxury and with my fiancee and I planning a wedding, she's getting kind of pissed here and there.
And now my friends are having trouble understanding as well. My best man is planning my bachelor party and, as it's been with my other friends, it's a surpise trip somewhere. I told him to hold off because come May, I don't know what my work schedule is and if we have six playoff games on a Saturday, I'm not going to be able to get the weekend.
The typical response is - why don't you get someone to cover. It's hard to explain that with our staff whittled down to the bare essentials, we literally don't have anyone to cover for me.

But on the good side, financials aren't a big problem. My fiancee is a pharmacist, so she is the bread-winner. Now the biggest challenge will be to make sure we don't creep up into the lower end of the next tax bracket once we're married and right now, we're dangerously close to it. If that's the worst thing, then I guess I got it pretty good.

 

Thanks for sharing your story. Not to be a busybody, but you probably should get some counseling with your pastor or somebody before the wedding because as you know it's only going to get worse. She needs to completely understand what she is marrying into.

 

This is something I've honestly wondered about. Will I be able to make this work a few years down the road? I'm 22 now and it's a ways before I even start to think about this, but I realize it's going to be a tough thing. Obviously, your wife has to be incredibly understanding or it's never going to work. Well done to those of you who have found a way.

 

Sounds that way. It sure is difficult to make this job work amid a relationship.

Before my fiancee passed away in 2004, we'd already worked through my work schedule, as we'd dated for a year and she figured out when to call and when not to, and what time to expect me home at night.

She understood that Friday night date nights weren't going to be in the cards, except for occasionally in the summer. And she worked second shift, which was usually what I worked, so that would have been ideal.

The key is either to hook up with another journalist, or find someone who's very understanding and knows that you don't have a 9-5 job.

 

My only advice is that we all have to remember that it's a job. I write for money. For the guy with the bachelor party, get the dates off and stick to it.

IT'S YOUR DAY.

The "can someone else cover it" thought is poignant. Don't make excuses because your shops publisher struggles. If you don't have someone else to cover it than you, then it doesn't get covered. My god, don't worry about the fallout. You are just an employee.

You have to work hard in this profession. But, you don't have to sacrifice your life for this profession.

I have missed major games for family related weddings etc.

Put yourself and your life first. Family first. Surely the wife has to understand the hours, but the job has to understand you don't work 24-7.

Do I want to be an over 40 divorced overweight writer covering MLB and wracking up 500,000 Mariott points and no one to take to Hawaii?

 

Indeed.

There are times when you have to sacrifice your family time. That's understandable, especially in this economy.

But at the same time, there has to be a work-life balance. There are times when you have to say, "I'm not available on this day. I have previous family committments."

The bosses ain't going to like it. They may (or even will) threaten to unload you. And if they're mad enough, they will.

Problem is, they're going to do it anyways. This industry is basically kaput. There are people who have dedicated their whole lives, and sacrificed a considerable amount of family time. And for what? A trip to the unemployment line.

 

A hefty handclap to all understanding sportswriter wives...it takes a special woman to support someone in this profession, and many times that means financial support, as well, as emotional.

 

If you're not using your points, I could find a good home for them.