Why you should hit deer on the road...

Sorry, but that's just dumb.

Unless you're clairvoyant and can predict with 100 per cent certainty that the crash you're about to have will only hospitalize you and not really inconvenience you that much.

:

 

Another reason to not swerve: Insurance.

You swerve and go into a ditch and do all kinds of damage, you're at fault. You go straight and hit the deer, the accident is often recorded as something unavoidable. Insurance pays and your premiums aren't likely to take a huge jump. You also don't get the "failure to control vehicle" or "reckless driving" ticket.

 

Deer vs lawn ornament:

http://www.twincities.com/ci_13753481?source=most_viewed

 

Well, I've learned something today, because I've swerved several times to avoid deer and other small animals. I've hit a few of them, and have had deer run into my car and more.

Now I know.

 

I live in an area of Rhode Island with a lot of deer, and they're annoying as hell. They always seem to be out on the darkest nights, and I drive a Corolla, so I don't think my car (and hence me) would survive that well in a collision with them. As a result, I normally just make sure I drive at a reasonable speed - 35 or so - as opposed to rocketing around the roads.

That being said, I think the deer around here kind of know what's up. I've never seen one as roadkill in my area, and even when I see them at night, they're almost always on the side of the road, and not hanging out in the middle.

 

People have been known to drive the roads looking for a dead deer, hack off a leg and start pounding their dented vehicle with the leg to make it look like a hit deer and not driving into a tree or ditch.

 

I hit a deer once in a Firebird, going about 65 mph. Highway patrolman asked me if I wanted to take the deer home. Apparently in Missouri if you hit the deer, you are eligible to keep it.

Not being trained in the fine art of field-dressing, I declined.

 

The shit Steelers fans do these days.

 

You can tag a deer in both Wisconsin and Minnesota if you hit it with your vehicle.

 

I've crushed one before in a rented Ford Explorer. It was pitch black, in the middle of fucking nowhere going 70 mph. Didn't even see it. Thing pops out, 10-point buck, and gashes the passenger side of the the SUV. Busts all the windows and the metal looks as if it has been through a grinder. My wife, sitting in the passenger seat, needed only a defibrillator -- luckily.
So, I'm in the middle of nowhere, 60 miles from somewhere with a big something dead in the middle of the road. After we put our eyes back into our heads, hearts back into our chest, we decide it would be best if I try to drag the beast to the side of the road. What the fuck do I know?
I pull the SUV to the side, throw on the hazard lights, and walk back to this big mother fucker sprawled out in the middle of the road. All I have is the keychain flashlight. So, I approach, and there is no way in hell I'll be able to drag this son of a bitch. He's too big.
I try anyhow.
As I reach down to his antlers, his head props up. Mind you, I just clobbered him going 70 mph and there's blood under his head. He gives one shiver, and he's up on his feet (hooves?) and glances at me -- I crap myself figuratively -- and he runs off into the woods.

(Should have seen the rental car attendant's face when I showed him the Explorer with seven rolls of duct tape holding together the passenger side of the car.)