Why There'll Always be an England

If you follow the wacky world of British polictics you know about this.

The Speaker of the House has been forced to resign because of expenses he incorrectly claimed, expenses which from one account ranged from "manure to porn films"

The Speaker Michael Martin has the dubious distinction of being the first Speaker forced to resign since 1695.

This investigation began with a hard look at MP's expense accounts which, to put it mildly, make North American politicians look like rank amateurs.

Here's one you'll never find on this side of the pond.

Douglas Hogg MP claimed approximately $5,000 for having the MOAT around his country estate cleaned.

Yup, a moat.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/5325459/MPs-expenses-what-does-it-take-to-maintain-a-moat.html

So what does maintenance of Britain's 6,000 moats entail? Must a moat be dredged of the debris hurled from battlements at the advancing hordes furious at the rank rottenness of a court that might embarrass Louis 14th? How expensive is portcullis polish? Is there a "little man" who looks after them for one, or a big contractor, a kind of Moats R Us?

Here's more from the Telegraph, who revealed all this shoddiness through good old fashioned journalism

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/mps-expenses/

 

This is boringly pedantic, but I assume moats are like drainage ditches and have to be cleared of undergrowth periodically.

To keep away invaders, or maybe for aesthetic reasons.

 

And paying tens of thousands of pounds to get the information released four months early.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2009/may/18/mps-expenses-how-scoop-came-light

 

At least moats keep the black knight at bay.

 

My apartment complex got very upset when I installed mine.

 

All right, I'm curious. What was the cause for why the Speaker had to resign in 1695?

 

It was Sir John Trevor and he accepted a bribe.

 

Scroll down.
http://yba.llgc.org.uk/en/s-TREV-OR0-0940.html

This guy was a serious thief.

 

Moats are good places to breed skeeters — which, if you've ever spent time in the Fens, you'll realize do exist in England, and in force.

I figured most of the moats had been filled in over the centuries. Didn't know there were thousands left. They'd be preserved today, of course, because of the historic value.

 

I would have guessed porn.

 

Ankle porn was the rage back in the day.