Why not to have sex.

LMAO - don't worry, it gets lame right away quick.
Have you tried Twitter, though?

 

I'm not allowed to actually be current. I'll be getting to Twitter by 2010.

 

I bet you still use a pay phone.

 

Oh no, I text. Turn the ole crank, and I'm texting away. Now pardon me while I pop a cassette into my boombox

 

Hell, Dooley still wears a fedora that has says "PRESS" on it when he covers "the cagers"

 

Nah, I'm like Curly and use "PULL"

 

thought he only did grapplers and thinclads

 

46. Because you ran out of toothpaste.

47. Because she said sucking a puss-filled toe turns her off.

48. Because Stan's balls are staring at you.

 

49. Because the bondage swing broke, totally ruining the mood.

 

50. Because the dog ate the Viagra.

 

51. Because you would, but she cut it off, threw it down the street and now you're feeling kinda woozy.

52. Because you're on a reality show and you're pretty sure your wife watches regularly.

53. Because you don't have birth control (sorry, I couldn't put down all funny ones).

 

54. Because your girlfriend saw the giant Asian dong and hasn't been interested in you since...