Why I drink ... phone calls.

Every time you answer the phone at one of these places, you always dread that it could be "the call." It's about as much fun as stepping into a piece of chewing gum.

 

The biggest feeling of relief I have every day is when the "messages" light finally turns off as I'm checking them when I start the day, meaning there are no more chances left.

 

I've developed a philosophy that anytime my office phone rings, especially on deadline, nothing good can come of it. It's either someone calling in a score that I wasn't expecting and now have to shoehorn into the section, or one of these psychopaths calling to complain about Podunk High getting more coverage than Shelbyville High.

 

So this football season, after the home team had a great game running the ball in a playoff loss, I talked to one of the starting offensive linemen. Apparently, I talked to the wrong one. A few days after it printed, the mother of a different lineman called, asking why I didn't talk to her son. She said he was heartbroken about it and thought I was playing favorites.

Honestly, I didn't really put a whole lot of thought into who I talked to. I was talking with a receiver and then a couple feet away was the lineman I talked to, one of their better ones who started all year. I was just thinking really, the kid's team got hammered in the playoffs, but he's bent out of shape because the Podunk News didn't get his quote about it being a team effort?

 

Maybe I'm perverse, but over the years, I've learned to enjoy those crazy calls. The crazier they are, the more entertaining the call will be.

There's no way you can take most of them seriously. I stay professional when I get them, but I argue my points and stand my ground. Once in a blue moon, you actually win them over.

But most of the time you don't. If you worry one bit about someone who complains with an obvious agenda, you shouldn't. They represent about .001 percent of your general readership.

 

A few years back, a woman called to complain about our player of the year in soccer. Part of her list of grievances included the facts he was A) a junior ("the seniors are devastated") and B) a C student. There were others, and it took me about a half-hour to get rid of her.

So she calls her school's AD (she also worked for the school system) and appealed to him for an hour. Failing there, she called the superintendent, who listened for about 10 minutes, said, "I don't have time for this shit," and hung up. Which is why he got the big bucks.

 

This.

I remember once sending a guy to cover a summer league baseball final. It just so happens the game came down to one of the top pitchers in our area against one of the top hitters - and the pitcher won the battle and his team won the game.

Our guy doesn't bury the hitter, but the story was pretty much centered around the battle at the end and he focused on the pitcher winning and got quotes from him and all that stuff.

Of course I get a phone call from Hitter's Dad the next morning all upset about how we made his kid look bad and he's trying to find a scholarship somewhere and you all know the drill. I let the guy vent, protect our guy (who did the right thing - never made the batter look bad - even mentioning how he fouled off three pitches to continue the at bad - while at the same time building up the pitcher). The guy said his son has been heartbroken all morning and already was getting calls from teammates about the story. I hang up with him after awhile, but happen to run into the kid a few weeks later at another game. I have a good relationship with him from the regular season, so I apologize if he felt the story put him in a bad light. He looks at me weird and said, "Why? I choked at the end. I should have won the game, but (the pitcher) got some by me. It happens".

He was horrified when he found out the father called me and said he was a mess about the story. He had no idea.

I never let one of those calls bother me again.

 

My kid struck out on a curveball once in the bottom of the sixth with two outs and a runner in scoring position and the Little League district championship on the line (he came through in a couple of those situation in his Little League days too). He came completely unglued, and treated my mother and me and extended family members like crap for the next hour or so. He was a complete, if you'll pardon the expression with regard to my son, asshole.

About two hours later, you'd never have known it happened, and the next day, basically, it HADN'T happened.

Most kids handle those situations just fine. It's the parents who can't.

 

You know its funny to have been on the other side of this.

My brother was a stud pitcher in high school. His sophomore year he threw a no hitter against the defending state champs. The story in the paper misspelled his first name (Stephen instead of Steven) and the local TV station called him Seth.

My brother personally called both places instead of my parents, who had told him its tour name. If its important to you you

call.

They listened and got it corrected.

I guess the point is that if the kid calls you better believe he's upset.

 

Two that have always driven me to the bottle after my shift:

1) The callers who ask how they can get a notice about signups in the paper ... even though I made how to put those in part of my voicemail greeting!

2) Those calling (or e-mailing) because the Bigtown Banner put their kid on their all-star team, and are we doing a story about it in the Podunk Shopping News?

 

My current voice mail just picks up and says my name and then beeps. I thought about changing it, because I get a couple of "Hello? Hello?" messages a day, but I figure it's an effective idiot screener and maybe I don't want to hear messages from anyone who can't figure it out. I had one guy yelling at his wife "He's there but he won't say anything!" the other day.