why doesn't my intern know how to stfu?

i mean, seriously, he's the intern, but he seems to think he knows every goddamn thing in the world. the way these little fuckers are, i don't want another intern. jesus christ, kid, it's a little league game, not the god damn world series. hell, you had five fuckin' bylines at your college weekly before coming here and now you're goddamn grantland rice? good news is, he's almost gone and maybe someone will try to call me for a recomendation and i can warn them about the snot-nosed prick

 

Wow, couldn't have said that better myself.

 

... because none of us were the interns who popped off.

 

try smacking him. that usually works. ;D

 

Say that to him...you'll enjoy the puzzled look he gets at the "Grantland Rice" part.

 

Interns are like clowns. They're good for a chuckle, maybe even a guffaw, for a few minutes. Then the 15th time you see the seltzer bottle gag (or in the intern's case, an overwritten or shittily written story) it's just annoying. Eventually, you just want to leave them in the tiger cage for a few days.

 

Interns don't know any better. Pull him aside during a quiet time and give him some good advice. If he chooses not to take it, then treat him like you would a loudmouth newbie on this board.

 

Surprisingly, the intern we had last summer was very good. Quite shy at first, but once a few of us broke the ice with him he responded well and wrote/reported some pretty good stuff with him. Now as for our Harvard grad in news this summer ...

 

Surely hope this isn't that common of an occurrence.

 

this is a pretty good idea. don't write off a 20 year old kid because he doesn't know how to behave in an office setting. maybe a stern but friendly talking-to sets him straight for the rest of his career. probably not but it might be worth a try if you care enough.

 

He wouldn't be that way if it weren't for your mangled editing. (Hi sirvaliant!)

 

come on hoops, give the know-it-all kid a break. He'll be working at the NYT in no-time and you may need a reference for that next job.
BTW, can he do desk?