Why did this make the national wire?

Who would possibly publish this article?
RIP, but dude was an interim coach at a nondescript community college.

Queensborough CC coach dies
EDS: APNewsNow.
NEW YORK (AP) -- Billy Atkinson, the interim men's basketball coach at New York City's Queensborough Community College, has died. He was 63.
Atkinson, who was about to enter his 16th season at the two-year school, passed away Tuesday afternoon, according to the City University of New York Athletic Conference. There were no details.
He was an assistant to two head coaches for 13 seasons at Queensborough, where he graduated, then assumed the interim duties last season during Tom Sinnickson's leave of absence. The Tigers went 8-20 last season and advanced to the conference tournament championship game.
The New York native is survived by his wife, Terri, and four daughters.
Funeral arrangements were pending.

 

I don't fucking live in the fucking world! I live in fucking New York City!

 

What's up Buck's ass?

 

Perhaps he tires of the NYC is everything syndrome. Still, am sure it was a mistake and nothing to flog people over.

 

Bagel.

Did I tell you the doctor found nicotine in my urine, again?

 

Slappy, a Paper-jack has commenced. Either get to jacking or steer clear!

And I would play over the water, by the way.

 

Then keep your dick out of my ashtray.

 

No one is holding a gun to your head to run it.

 

Got it. Gotcha. With a slammer.

Yeah, because God forbid we ever run a fucking headline without an exclamation point.

 

Delivering the eulogy:

 

You got another word for eulogy?

 

I got another word for all of them, get out of the chair.



Why don't you just pour battery acid down your throat?