Who here has a crown?

I agree with whoever called the dentist's office an auto shop.

Went without dental insurance for a long time, so I didn't go to the dentist. When I finally went, the found a cavity on a molar (first appointment). But they couldn't just drill and fill, they decided I needed a crown (second appointment). But when they got in to do the work, they decided I needed a root canal and sent me to a specialist (third appointment) who took two tries to get it done (fourth appointment). When I went back for the crown (fifth appointment), they said my jaw bone needed surgery and sent me to a third specialist (sixth appointment) who only did a consultation before the actual jaw-bone-filing surgery (seventh appointment). Then when I finally went back for the crown (eighth appointment), they broke it while getting it in (ninth appointment).

My insurance only covered the first teeth cleaning (not the root canal, surgery or crown) because I had been on it for less than a year. I owed in the neighborhood of $6,000. I also have horrible luck with anything related to the medical profession (I had Lasik surgery that failed) so I might be unique.

 

So, Cadet, how is your mouth doing these days after all that work? Did you get a warranty?

Oh, BTW, the anesthetic is starting to wear off and my tooth is beginning to pulse and ache. Not a good start to the evening...

 

I was at the dentist yesterday. Got my teeth cleaned, a swag bag of dental products and an attractive hygentist had her boobs planted against my chin or shoulder for the larger part of an hour.
I look forward to six months from now.
But just fillings here, not crown work.

 

That's exactly how I met my ex. And why I went in for cleanings every three months instead of every six.

 

You're such a man whore, Norm.

 

I applaud you. In this case, I was going to tell my dentist, whom I know, that I think his Wednesday hygentist is hot. And I usually get a bill for like five bucks since my insurance is capped on how much they pay for a cleaning, and the cleaning cost is just a little more than the allowed, [stalker mode] I'll be sure to go in and pay the difference on a Wednesday.[/stalker mode]

 

Make sure to listen to cues from her regarding her personal life -- that's how I found out she had broken up with her previous boyfriend, and how I got in there (get your mind out of the gutter, people). Ours was a great relationship, while it lasted.

Once we got through the awkwardness of bumping into each other every few months in the office after we broke up, it was cool.

And shut up, spupdian. We already know I'm a man whore.

 

My best clue was when she asked me if I was married or had kids and I said no. Then I asked her the same, and she said no as well.
Then I got boobs to the chin.

 

My dentist is too religious and hires all these chipper, straight-laced, eager young hygenists.

Trick must be to find a boozing, randy dentist.

 

Surely there's a professional association specifically for boozing, randy dentists that could provide referrals.

 

You might want to try making an appointment with Tim Whatley. He even has Penthouse magazines in the waiting room.

 

I'm an anti-dentite. Fuck Whatley.