Which celebrity do you most look like?

I think I resemble Ralphie from A Christmas Story... round, baby face, very blue eyes. I do wear glasses, but not Ralphie's style, thankfully.

 

Last September, I went to the Reno/Tahoe area with my Dad.

Last night of the trip, we were staying at Harrah's Tahoe and eating dinner at the buffet. As I was filling my plate at one of the stations, some guy sidles up to me and says "Hey, did anyone ever tell you you look like Glenn Beck?" I did a double take, smiled and said, "No, and I hope nobody ever does again."

Later that night, Dad and I go see a show at the Harvey's comedy club across the street. We're in our seats a few minutes before showtime and a totally different guy, sitting in front of me, turns to me and asks me the same Beck question in the exact same wording. Visions of Rod Serling and the opening credits of "The Twilight Zone" danced in my head.

Needless to say, I wasn't flattered either time.

 

Former Maryland governor Parris Glendening.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Parris_Glendening

 

Heck, I should have looked you up; I was only 15 minutes away.

 

An ex-GF was enraged a couple of years ago when someone told her she looked like Sarah Palin.
The ex-GF in question is a little left of Chairman Mao, so she was really upset by the comment, although the person who made the comment clearly did not mean it as an offense.

 

Ha! Well, maybe next time I get up there.

 

Jimmy Clausen

 

I have always looked a few years older than I was. Helped me get into bars at 17, usually without detection.

But I was never prepared for a winter day in January 1995.

I'm 20 and had just bleached my hair. It came out a brassy color. I also don't have any visible eyebrows to speak of.

I saddle up to a bar, but, since this was my "clothes horse" era, I was wearing a nice outfit. I'm with a friend of mine - he's about 35 and we worked at the newspaper in town.

When the first beer comes, this middle-age drunk comes up to me.

"Phil Simms?"

I shrug and say, no, sorry, that's not me.

He goes back to his drink. He looks again.

"Don't bullshit me. You're Phil Simms! What are you doing here?"

I look back and smile. He's not going to let it go.

My friend remarks, "see, not even here (a Big Ten city) can you go unnoticed, Phil."

"See! I KNEW YOU WERE PHIL SIMMS!" the drunk shouts.

Mind you, Simms is probably 36 or 37 at this point. Then I decide to turn on my ad-libbing skills.

I took the drunk on a wild-ride of playing at Morehead State, dealing with Ray Perkins ("I never thought much of his game-coaching"). Parcells ("the toughest sumbitch I ever dealt with"). Super Bowl XXI ("Going 22-for-25 was as if the Lord gave me a thunderbolt for an arm!")

I talked of Phil McConkey, watching out for LT's coke binges, the Ray Handley era and, finally, "my" retirement.

For 20 minutes, this drunk was enraptured as I kept spinning it out. The bartender was near tears trying to keep the joke alive.

Finally, the drunk goes, "Where's your Super Bowl Ring, Phil?"

Crap, I need a story. "Back in New York City. I'm not going to break it out for when I'm here on a college visit with my son."

The drunk puts his arm around my shoulder. "You're a good guy, you know, Phil Simms."

With a final shrug, I signed a cocktail napkin for the guy and left.

 

Michael Caine. Back in the Alfie days



Today




We all get older.

 

I got Drew Carey a lot, even from an ex-girlfriend, but sadly, I didn't lose any of the weight that he did. Are there still chubby chasing girls out there somewhere?