When You Don't Want to Be a Resume Reference

I remember being taught that when I was in college from the station manager of the college NPR station.. "A reference? Sure. Now ask if I will be a positive reference..."

Or he might enjoy lying on the couch, being your little puppy, singing showtunes

 

Sorry to chime in late on this one because I've had some experience.

First off, I usually tell the parents that if junior wants a reference, then junior should call me because it is time that he grew up.

I also tell the parents that I give an honest reference because I am putting my reputation on the line. All I need is for somebody to hire based on my reccomendation and then have that hire go to hell.

I would prefer to give an honest assessment -- strengths, weaknesses, etc. -- so that the potential employer can get a true picture. I've hired enough people that I can honestly say that I hate it when a reference tries to blow smoke up my ass. When I ask, "what is junior's weakness" and the response is, "he works too hard." I just know that there are problems.

Sometimes, the honest approach actually helps the kid more anyway.

If you really don't think there is anything to say positive about the kid, tell the father that although you'd be happy to be listed as a reference, it might not be in junior's best interest because here is what I would say. . . and then outline it for him.

Parents have a very narrow view of the world, especially regarding their kids. They don't have a true understanding of what it takes to succeed in your field (or mine) and when I have outlined the skill set that I am looking for when I hire, they usually get a pretty good eye-opening.

Good luck.

 

Say yes, and keep your fingers crossed that no one calls you.

Seriously, I would say, "Look, I'd be happy to, but I'd advise against it. If I get called and I'm asked how I know him or if I've ever worked with him I don't want to have to tell them that he's the son of a family friend and that I've never worked with him..."

 

I think the way you can get out of it is like this:

You tell the parents that you aren't in a position to help your son get a job... you don't do hiring or can't get him an interview, much less find a job for him. You can offer some advice and contacts, but that is the best you can do.

 

I've said no before, but I've never been asked by a friend to help a kid out...

I've told people before that I couldn't be a reference for them without being very familiar with their work and seeing how they are on deadline, etc... You can also explain that in this business that we're only as good as our reputations and if we give a reference for someone who isn't ready or good enough, we're indirectly responsible for how they do...

 

just say he's an effin stud

 

Just tell the kid's father to send his son over with a joint and some condoms so you guys can hammer out a cover letter.

 

You wear condoms when you write cover letters? What the hell could you possibly put in a cover letter that would require you to wear a condom?

 

Quote function assistance on Aisle 2, Double Down to Aisle 2....

Look, a guy who needs condoms to write a letter probably needs the joint too, I have no idea.

Would you like to give him the reference? I think you have a better sense of how these things work.

 

Cute.

 

Cute? Baby ducks are cute, I hate cute! I want to be exotic, and mysterious!

Update from Dad this morning....Scooter will get in touch, but he is skiing in Vermont until Tuesday.