When do you speak out about someone's relationship?

I would rather do all I can to help my friend. If he or she does not listen, so be it, but I'm going to at least try.

Again, I'm not talking about telling the person what to do. I'm talking about being honest and making a friend face the tough questions.

 

She sounds pretty abusive to me. Check out this laundry list of abuse:

Hmmm. She's obviously not in this for him, or their marriage, or the family.

What a selfish, conceited bitch. Heaven forbid, bitch, you can't buy whatever you want. WELCOME TO REAL LIFE. Reason #24,234 not to get married EVER.

What a bitch.

Of course she's ashamed of him. She was expecting her meal ticket and someone to "take care of her" meaning "someone with an unlimited bank account of his own money that he works hard for so I can spend as much as I want on anything that I please because I'm a selfish bitch."

Why anyone would hesitate to tell this guy to get the fuck out of this marraige and find the best divorce attorney he can find is nuckin' futs.

 

Word up. The friend sounds like a walking vagina. I know guys like him, and I know one of those friends who is itching to get out of a marriage because he was an idiot and married because society told him to and ended up marrying a complete bitch with no sense of fiscal responsibility.

 

I don't think the couple in this story is married, so her complaints about supporting the guy aren't as unfair as you make them out to be Jimmy.

That said, the part about resenting her own daughter really does not speak well for this woman.

 

You have a point. Still doesn't say much about this woman. "I'm tired of not being able to buy everything I want because of you." Talk about a red flag.

 

the woman is an uber-bitch. that said, as far as unsolicited, well-intentioned interference from a "friend," may i reiterate: N-E-V-E-R.

again, unless violence is to be prevented. otherwise, just be there to help pick him up.

 

As others have mentioned, abuse doesn't have to be physical.

I don't know if what she's doing rises to the level of emotional or mental abuse. However, it rises to the level of "why would I want this bitch in my life?"

 

understood. but it's for the blind, dumbass friend to come to that realization himself, not his friend who he may resent forever for speaking out against the bitch he loves.

 

As I've pointed out, though, you're liable to lose the friendship anyway because you'll distance yourself from the dumb-ass in order to have nothing to do with the bitch. If you have the chance (ie, if you're asked), why wouldn't you say something?

 

Is it really neccessary that we hold on to all our friendships for our entire lives?

The guy chose his course in life. Something tells me it would not have included you regardless if you spoke up and told him the truth about how you were feeling.

 

well, doesn't it go without saying it depends on how much you cherish the friendship? if it's a potential "best bud forever," tread carefully. but if it's more of a friend born of circumstance, time and place, etc., then sure, butt in.

 

Just wanted to give an update. I bit my tongue on this. I wrote back, "I'm pulling for whatever makes you truly happy." I was happy with that because I wasn't trashing the gf, but I certainly wasn't endorsing her. I ultimately decided that since he was the one who mentioned all the problems to me in the first place, I had to trust that he was not blind to them and would take steps to deal with them.

And indeed, he ended things about two weeks ago. It's final -- she moved out, they've divvied their things up, etc. He's in a pretty rough place right now but seems aware that the point of all this is that there will be greater happiness down the road.

Thanks all for the feedback.