What's your voice mail etiquette?

I'm with Pallister. I don't like to leave messages and I don't really care to receive them unless they are drunk dials or really important news. I tend to call the person back without listening to the message as well.

 

I only leave messages if I want the person to return my call and/or know I will be at home/work at the specified time. Otherwise, I don't.

 

Leave a message, and LEAVE YOUR NUMBER AT THE BEGINNING OF THE MESSAGE! Please don't make me listen to your five minute message two or three times to get the number at the end.

 

Speak slowly when you are giving the number.

Leave your number at the beginning AND the end of your message (if it's business related).

 

For work:

"Hello Mr. or Ms. Such-and-Such. This is hockeybeat, and I am calling you about X. My cell phone number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. When it is most convenient for you, please return my call. Again, my number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Thank you."

For family and friends: "Hey, it's HB. I am just calling to say (what-the-fuck-ever). When ya get a chance, gimme a call. My number is XXX-XXX-XXXX. Talk to ya later."

For when I'm talking to the cheap piece of shit that masquerades as my phone. "Fuck you, you goddamn fucking piece of shit. It's the only fucking cell phone that can't send or receive calls or messages. Fuck you, you piece of shit, I hate you and can't wait until I get a real fucking phone."

 

JERRY: Oh! I got a message. (presses button on answer machine)

GEORGE: (on tape, lifeless) Hey, it's George. I got nothin' to say... (beep)