What's the good word on Tempur-Pedic?

Work computer. I'm not engorging anything on this bad boy.

 

IJAG, is that the site where you got your fur-lined handcuffs?

 

You are at work?

 

Freelance: the furry ones are for wimps.

 

Yea furry=gay.

 

Um, er, I had a ... uh ... source ... tell me that you can't really blow yourself on one of those things. I mean THE THOUGHT OF IT! Trying to blow yourself on an adjustable bed, what kind of sicko would try that?

Seriously though, how good could sex on one of those be? Clearly, you could rig it for various positions, but Christ, by the time you adjust the bed to Defcon 5 doggystyle, you'd be ready to move on to something else.

Seems like it would make the act as mechanical as the bed. You'd be trying to get comfortable for some oral sex and it would be like ...

"No, adjust a little to the right ... no, no that's too far, my mouth is on the side of your leg now, just a smidge to the left. ... yeeeaah, I'm still not there ... I mean I've got 100 percent bush coverage, but I only draw clit if I completely elongate my tounge like I'm trying to touch my nose. I ain't fucking Gene Simmons down here, OK?

No, no I'm sorry, I'm not getting mad, just a little to the ... STOP! ... That's it! ... Yeah! I don't have that kink in my neck anymore and I've got full coverage here. You? I mean we are doing this on your sleep number side of the bed and all ... Dammit! I SAID I wasn't mad about that, and no, I'm not about to freaking switch over now! Just hush up and get ready to have your mind blown ..."

 

Sounds like you have had some practice having sex like that.