What the movies taught you about sports

Do not look skyward and yell "Rat farts!" if I miss an easy shot.

 

That the owner's very hot daughter can fall in love with a sportswriter.

 

A triple lindy can be done.

The Fonz is one hell of an offensive coordinator.

 

That a winning putt attempt that falls an inch short is still good for the win when an explosion on the golf course rattles it into the hole two minutes later.

 

A Victoria's Secret catalog can help your catcher regain his focus when there's no copy of Playboy around.

 

A law school student can win the biggest beach volleyball tournament of the year less than two months after first taking up the game.

 

Also, you can learn to drive a race car by watching ESPN because the coverage is excellent.

 

Americans can rise in the ranks of West Ham United hooligan firms.

 

That alchoholic has beens are the best people to coach youth sports.

 

Also, you can learn drafting with a couple sugar packets and Nicole Kidman's leg.

 

That a bunch of prisoners can make a pretty damn good football team.

 

And a bunch of POWs can beat the damn Nazis at soccer even with an American in goal.