What the hell do I buy for a one-year old?

One of my best friends is having a birthday party for his son, who turns one this weekend.

What I know about babies can be inscribed on a piece of scrap paper with a toothpick dipped in ink.

A year ago, as a shower gift, I bought an industrial-sized tub of ass-paste for diaper rash. It seemed to go over well, but I don't want to repeat-gift.

I'm thinking maybe clothes of some kind, but I don't know what babies wear. Burlap sacks? Every time I see the kid, he looks to have roughly 536 baby jumpers, all with either choo-choo trains, Elmo, or Elmo driving a choo-choo train.

I'd like to get something nice. As much as this kid mystifies me (his desire to put my $200 Oakleys in his mouth I'll never understand,) I'm nuts about him and would like to do well in this. Any suggestions from baby people?

 

Get a savings bond or cash. If it's their first, they don't need the clothes because they have probably overbought. Toys? Ditto.

 

Hmmm...I'm guessing asking you if he's big or small for his age won't help...

If he has plenty of jumpers, I usually go either with an age-appropriate toy, or maybe a jacket. I would ask his parents, see if there's anything they want/need. I got my best friend baby wipes and diapers for Christmas, because she had a 6-month old and everyone was buying the kid clothes (he had a closet full) but she was having to buy tons of diapers and wipes.

It may not be romantic, but it would be appreciated. Like your butt paste.

 

Kaylee --

Since you mentioned Elmo on his clothes, you could go with something Elmo-related. They came out with a TMX Elmo -- a newer, better version of tickle me Elmo. My daughter had the LeapFrog interactive musical "table" and she loved it, and for that matter, I'd recommend any age-appropriate LeapFrog toy.

And don't forget books. Reading to little ones should start as early as possible.

 

Print off this post and give it to him when he's old enough to read. I know I laughed my ass off reading it.

Burlap sacks?! Ass-paste!? Choo-choo trains, Elmo, or Elmo driving a choo-choo train.

Classic.

 

Good choices -- you could buy a bunch of the Sandra Boynton board books.

My 20 month old daughter plays with "Baby Tad" from Leapfrog in her crib -- http://www.amazon.com/LeapFrog-Hug-Learn-Baby-Tad/dp/B00005BHK7

Edit: For about $20, you can get this -- magnets of each of the letters of the alphabet which, when placed in the carrier, says what the letter is and what sounds the letter makes. http://www.amazon.com/Fridge-Phonics-Magnetic-Letter-Play/dp/B000096QNK

 

For my nieces when they turned 1, I've bought onesies (spelling?). For one of them, it was a K-State onesie -- brother-in-law is a K-State guy, so my sister followed, not having any KU ties. Seems like parents are always thankful for baby clothes.

 

A subscription to the local paper.

 

A friend of mine recalls how he bought a Tickle-Me-Elmo when people were beatin' the shit out of each other at Toys-R-Us for one, then on Christmas morning, his kid played with it for 20 minutes then spent most of the day walking around amusing himself with a stick.

Hint: Save your money. Visit a nearby tree.

 

A nice piggy bank, pig optional.

 

I wish they'd come out with Bad-Ass Elmo. Tickle it and it punches you.

Or Sexual Harassment Elmo. Tickle it and it threatens to sue.

 

Screw the clothes and educational toys and all that crap. The kid is a year old. He won't know anyway.

Get passes for something the family can do together: a season pass to the zoo, three tickets to Baby's First Baseball Game, something like that. The parents will remember that far more than the 237th cute outfit.