What should I be doing with my frozen halibut, seriously

Throw it back.

 

Don't be concerned if it's not talking. Everyone develops at different speeds. Just do your best, show it lots of love and trust your instincts.

 

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Makes about 6 servings.

Thaw the halibut in water and chop into pieces
2 cans (14 ounces each) reduced sodium chicken broth
Haphazardly dice up some tomatoes & keep juice
2 packages (5.6 ounces each) Spanish rice mix
1 package frozen loose-pack peas
1/2 cup chopped onion
Any other frozen, canned or fresh veggies you like such as artichoke or black olives

Directions

1. In a slow cooker, stir together chicken broth, halibut chunks undrained tomatoes, rice mix, peas, veggies, and onion until thoroughly combined.

2. Cover and cook on HIGH for 3 hours.

 

Don't be too shocked when one of their eyes begins migrating and they both end up on the same side.

This is perfectly natural.

That, along with the whole lack-of-ears thing, make fitting them for eyeglasses a real booger.


My dad went fishing in Alaska and gave me a bunch of halibut. ("Why are you going to Alaska, Dad?" "Just for the halibut.")

It's firm-fleshed and so mild that it needs some help to taste like much. Put lots of herbs on it and olive oil, then cook it on an outdoor grill. Or, you can stew (poach) in tomato sauce. It's also good in seafood soups with shrimp and mussles.

 

Toss it some encouraging parental bon mots such as:

You know, it's just as easy to love a rich girl.

or

You've got a face for radio, to bad you talk funny.

 

I had a really crappy day so thank you for making laugh so hard, everyone.

 

Zeke: "Was it good for you?"
Halibut: "Glug."

 

OK, that's well played.