What if...Gore had been elected president?

If Gore had been elected president, farts would smell like rainbows.

 

How do you know they don't already? You ever smelled a rainbow, son?

 

And then, finally, I would be able to stand atop the heads of local parents and rip one.

"Hey, I just wanted to share some rainbows with you."

 

Yes.

Which means Iran would be a hell of a lot weaker.

 

True.

And Kusay and Uday would have absorbed about 200,000 more porn flicks and raped countless numbers more in what was nothing more than kids play for the good sons of Saddam. Damn, I had forgotten about those two fine men.

 

One of the few bright spots of the war.

One of my friends actually fired some missiles into that house. Helluva story. He was flying a mission in the area and the grunts called and said they needed some help. He and his crew flew over, and after some discussion and a briefing, pretty much unloaded all they had.

 

Good story . . . though your first graf remains painfully true.