What do you think of my lede?

When Paul Maurice started last season behind the Toronto Marlies' bench, he was just a shadow, an understudy from the luminous spotlight of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

Now he stands centre stage as the 26th man to play the role of the Leafs’ bench boss.

“This team means so much to generations of families, not just the person of the day,” said Maurice, who earned the gig May 12. “I mean, a lot of people have stories, like I did, growing up of sitting around the TV watching your team play."

edit: forgot to close my quote

 

I might have just said Marlies or Maple Leafs, to avoid using Toronto twice.

And this may be nit-picky, but he earned the job over the last 40 years. He got the job on May 12.

But overall, solid stuff.

 

I don't mean for any of this to sound abrupt, but I'm on my way out the door and wanted to get the notes to you. Thanks for posting.

 

Thanks JGMACG, I thought it was good, but I was exactly sure. I whipped up this:

Taking the job as the Toronto Maple Leafs’ 26th bench boss won't come easy for Paul Maurice.

And when the season finally beings, he finally feel the immense, omnipresent pressure of winning -- coming right from the management all the up to the faithful sitting in the nose bleeds.

“This team means so much to generations of families, not just the person of the day,” said Maurice, who earned the job May 12 after being promoted from the Marlies, the Leafs’ farm club. “I mean, a lot of people have stories, like I did, growing up of sitting around the TV watching your team play.

“It’s a little bit humbling and certainly you sense a little bit of responsibility.”

 

I think you're trying too hard. You probably don't need both immense and omnipresent together to get the point across and it should be pressure "to win" not "of winning," because that would apply Toronto or Maurice has been winning.

 

Mr Rookie,

When Paul Maurice started last season behind the Toronto Marlies' bench, he was just a shadow, an understudy from the luminous spotlight of the Toronto Maple Leafs. Let him be a shadow or understudy or just say that he was he far from the spotlight. Just too busy, too much.

Now he stands centre stage as the 26th man to play the role of the Leafs’ bench boss. If he was in the shadows in lead have him move into the spotlight.

“This team means so much to generations of families, not just the person of the day,” said Maurice, who earned the gig May 12. “I mean, a lot of people have stories, like I did, growing up of sitting around the TV watching your team play." Ultimately the first two sentences don't connect with the quote. If he said it was showtime or anything like that, much better.

YHS, etc

 

You spelled center wrong.

 

That's how it's spelled in Canadialand.