What do you steal from work?

The real question is, what does work steal from you?

 

At one paper, there was such a problem with people stealing food out of the refrigerator in the break area that security put a camera on the refrigerator to catch the culprits. Sad.

 

Mine certainly doesn't.

 

My Truck Nutz.

 

The correct answer, for some here: A paycheck.

But ArnoldBabar poses the much better question.

 

Dear Boss,

I am so very truly and honestly sorry for stealing a pair of blue scissors from the office back in football season.
You called me at 4 p.m. and asked if I could help out by covering a prep game. So I rushed to the office — I almost forgot my wallet. I grabbed a yellow pad and a pair of scissors to cut the 10 pages in half because I keep my play-by-play on the top half of pages and totals on the back sheet.
So I needed scissors and they were there for the taking like a drunk flashing $100 bills in front of a pick-pocket.
The scissors slipped into my bag.
You understand, right?
I sped out to some rural county where the big lady dipping Skoal (could have been Copenhagen or something else) asked for my five bucks to park.
“I’m with the press,” I said.
“Ind-di-ann-uh,” she said looking at my sweatshirt. “What county that in?”
I just handed her a $5 bill.
I cut my pages in the press box. I had every intention of returning the scissors on the next Monday. But I didn’t. I forgot about them.
Then Christmas season started rolling around and I had to wrap presents. I thought about trying to curl that curly ribbon like the folks in the mall. So I thought about the scissors — in my bag for all those weeks.
I cut more ribbon than I curled. Then I threw the scissors in the junk drawer. I pulled them out again on Christmas Day to help open presents. Then I threw the scissors in the junk drawer. They’re still in the junk drawer.
May I please get reimbursed for parking?

Sincerely,
Highway 101

 

Enough.

 

Oxygen.

 

They get free overtime hours, so I figure I should get something in return.

 

Agreed. I'm going to go with my will to live.

 

Not for nothing, I suppose, but the ad at the bottom of the page as I write this post says, "Learn Biblical Hebrew Online, With the Holy Land's best teachers."

I guess it's because of the reference to souls ...

 

I've taken batteries too weak to power up a flash (instead of roundfiling them), but that's about it. They'll work for months in a remote control.