What are the chocolate boxes with the doors for Xmas?

Yummy. Check Trader Joe's or Cost Plus World Market.

 

What is it with you and fuckin sandwiches?

 

Ah crap, I was thinking of Quality Street. But then I realized that it came in a container, not a box. :-[

There are doors, aren't there on the lid of the container though? :-[

 

The sound of throttling lust builds in volume. He follows his ears until he arrives at a dressing room door. A Big or Tall woman within screams with pleasure:

FEMALE VOICE (O.S.)
Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

WILLIE'S VOICE (O.S.)
Yeah! Yeah! You ain't gonna shit right for a weekl

Chipeska looks underneath and spots black Santa boots with red velvet pants around the ankles.

 

Look, I've boned a lot of fat chicks in my time, sure. But, as far back as I can remember, I've never fornicated anybody.

 

WILLIE
You saying there's something wrong with my gear?

MARCUS
Willie...

CHIPESKA
I'm sorry. Your gear?

WILLIE
You know...fuck stick.

 

Sue: I've always had a thing for Santa Claus. In case you didn't notice. It's like some deep-seeded childhood thing.
Willie: So is my thing for tits.

 

A couple of days ago, I was in, uh, Women's Big & Tall. And, uh, I heard these, um, you know, these noises. And I heard a woman screaming, "Yeah. Oh, yeah." And I heard his voice saying "That's right. You ain't going to S-H-I-T right for a month."

 

OK, this one's off the rails.

 

WILLIE (CONT'D)
(to himself)
...Another fuckin' mongoloid.
(shouts)
Marcus- Get him outta here before he pisses on me.

Suddenly the Kid is moved to yank Willie's beard. He holds it stretched below Willie's chin.

WILLIE (CONT'D)
(whispered to the kid)
...Let it go, you little bastard.

KID
It's not real.

WILLIE
It was real. The hair fell out when I got sick.

KID
How'd you get sick?

WILLIE
I loved a woman who wasn't clean.

KID
Mrs. Santa?

WILLIE
No, her sister.

 

The Advent calendars I remember from childhood were nothing like this thread.