Well, It's Biblical, Anyway

The archbishop, his brother and the church are being sued by former church employee Mona Brewer, who says Earl Paulk manipulated her into an affair from 1989 to 2003 by telling her it was her only path to salvation.

I wonder if that pickup line would work in a bar.

 

wait a minute, I think you're on to something. Neighbor's wife, ok. I'm well aware I cannot covet thy neighbor's wife. Been ingrained in me since I was a wee lad.

But brother's? I don't recall any mention of that. No coveting of my brother's wife? Look, if you want me to follow the rules, you need to be pretty damn specific, dear leaders o' the church.

Otherwise, I'm gonna have to plead ignorance on this one.

 

Wow. That guy is certainly one large and old piece of shit.

 

I'm counting a two-fer as far as breaking the 10 commandments.

 

C'mon, poin.
He had to have lied at some point, too.

 

There are over 9100 comments on this story--which was posted yesterday evening.

"The devil makes work, etc, etc"

 

Exactly

 

That's how I did it, anyway.

 

THE BISHOP!

 

The Old Testament's pretty specific on this stuff. There are 613 commandments in the Torah, according to Maimonedes. Mix and match your favorites from this partial list!


139 Not to have relations with your mother Lev. 18:7
140 Not to have relations with your father's wife Lev. 18:8
141 Not to have relations with your sister Lev. 18:9
142 Not to have relations with your father's wife's daughter Lev. 18:11
143 Not to have relations with your son's daughter Lev. 18:10
144 Not to have relations with your daughter Lev. 18:10
145 Not to have relations with your daughter's daughter Lev. 18:10
146 Not to have relations with a woman and her daughter Lev. 18:17
147 Not to have relations with a woman and her son's daughter Lev. 18:17
148 Not to have relations with a woman and her daughter's daughter Lev. 18:17
149 Not to have relations with your father's sister Lev. 18:12
150 Not to have relations with your mother's sister Lev. 18:13
151 Not to have relations with your father's brother's wife Lev. 18:14
152 Not to have relations with your son's wife Lev. 18:15
153 Not to have relations with your brother's wife Lev. 18:16
154 Not to have relations with your wife's sister Lev. 18:18
155 A man must not have relations with a beast Lev. 18:23
156 A woman must not have relations with a beast Lev. 18:23
157 Not to have homosexual relations Lev. 18:22
158 Not to have homosexual relations with your father Lev. 18:7
159 Not to have homosexual relations with your father's brother Lev. 18:14
160 Not to have relations with a married woman Lev. 18:20

and so forth.

 

That's how I became high priestess of the Horny and Big Baby Jesus Fellowship.