Weird reactions and crappy people

or this one...

Kelly my darling, you are my sunshine;
When we're together I feel fine.
Your smile is so lovely; your hair is so clean;
You make me feel that the whole world is mine.

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, K-E-L-L-Y ...
Why? Because you're

Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
(pause) Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly, Kelly,
Kelly of mine!

(applause)

Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine,
Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine, Mine,
... Mine!

 

This thread just made me relive an embarassing memory.

When I was in high school, I used to spend a lot of time with this girl I had a crush on. We were inseperable, pissing off an ex of hers who she still had feelings for. We used to spend all night, every night talking on the phone.

So one night we're talking, and she tells me a song she's istening to reminds her of her and me. I believe the song was Metallica's "Nothing Else Matters".

Of course, she then asks me what song reminds me of 'us.'

I haven't a fucking clue. I start thinking and stalling, trying to pull some shit out of my ass. I finally say, "Rocket Queen" by Guns N Roses. The ending of that song is real sweet, and I recite what little I remembered of the ending, which is:

I see you standing
Standing on your own
It's such a lonely place for you
For you to be
If you need a shoulder
Or if you need a friend
I'll bee here standing
Until the bitter end
No one needs the sorrow
No one needs the pain
I hate to see you
Walking out there
Out in the rain
So don't chastise me
Or think I, I mean you harm
Of those that take you
Leave you strung out
Much too far
Baby-yeah

Don't ever leave me
Say you'll always be there
All I ever wanted
Was for you
To know that I care

Fine, right?

No, she doesn't own Appetite for Destruction and wants to know ALL of the words. OK, I say. So I take out the little liner notes card from my cassette and start reading.

"If I say I don't need anyone
I can say these things to you
'Cause
I can turn on any one
Just like I turned on you"

Me: "Um, wait, maybe these are the wrong words ..."
Her: laughing but confused "keep reading."
Me: Ok

"I've got a tongue like a razor
A sweet switchblade knife
And I can do you favors
But then you'll do whatever I like"

Me: Shit, I know there's some good lines in here somewhere
Her: Not laughing.
Me: I think it's here in the chorus

Here I am
And you're a Rocket Queen
I might be a little young
But honey I ain't naive
Here I am
And you're a Rocket Queen oh yeah
I might be too much
But honey you're a bit obscene

Me: No, those aren't it.
Her: silence

I've seen everything imaginable
Pass before these eyes
I've had everything that's tangible
Honey you'd be surprised
I'm a sexual innuendo
In this burned out paradise
If you turn me on to anything
You better turn me on tonight

Me: Um, wrong song, I suppose ... wait, here's the line I'm looking for.
Her: OK.

She didn't talk to me for a week after that.

 

You should start making songs, and serenades for SportsJournalists.com members.

 

That's awesome, W-b. I hope you did better with your wife.