Weird Question for the Board

How accurate are home pregnancy tests?

Me and the Mrs. are batting two-for-two.

We've used two different brands and scored a positive on each.

It's funny. We're both kinda like "naahhh....really? you think?"

 

First, mazel tov.

Secondly, one of the former took one once and it was negative.

Thirdly, if it's 5 for 5, then mazel tov again, Daddy!

 

Welcome to parenthood.

See that cutie to the left? You're getting one soon. It's a blast.

 

Murphy find a way to clone people in his spare time from his movie career?

 

He did. Then he informed me of his plan to create Slappy 4429. I shut him down.

 

Smart man... someone should have quit at 4427

 

They're pretty damned accurate, esp. the stick ones. You and the wife should have a blood test done to confirm (of course), and to make sure everything is OK.

Oh, and congrats!

 

Wait a minute...I smell shenanigans.

So you JUST got married...and NOWWWWWWW you find out she's preggers....yeah right!





(kidding...congrats, SSM!)

 

If you're 2-for-2 (2-of-2??) I can recommend a good mid-wife. You'll need it

 

THIS MESSAGE IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE CAMPAIGN FOR HONESTY IN FATHERHOOD:

Way to throw it to your wife, Sue. Planted that seed like it was a touchdown spike.

A little more than nine months from now, the greatest day of your life.

Then a lot of shit for, like, three months.

Then a mix of shit and joy for, like, six months.

Then a lot of joy, straight up.

Oh, and soon you'll cry over anything. I used to think "Wires" by Athlete was just a good song. Now I hear it, and I'm driving off the road through a curtain of tears.

And I would give anything for ten hours of sleep... Anything but my baby boy, that is.

It's amazing how you'd die in a finger snap to protect what is essentially a smiling, featherless turkey.

Oh, and don't eat out your wife if she breastfeeds. It'll taste like metal down there. You might as well lick a waffle iron for all the fun it'll be.

What were we talking about again?

 

Awesome. Totally awesome.

 

FWIW, I'm pretty sure you can routinely get a false negative with home pregnancy tests, but rarely a false positive.
The test searches for a hormone present in pregnant women.