We Aren't The World: An sj music project

Some are worth the troubler like the poster named Bubbler,
whose talk of the Packers is trumped by that ass
But then there are others who are nothin' but mothers
Like YGBFKM and his complete lack of class

 

Manky spanky
In his hanky;
Jeter would be proud.

Now Drip and OOP
Have shot their goop,
Trying to draw a crowd.

And now a brawl
Consumes us all,
A flame war for the ages.

And this I swear:
Obamacare
Will go 400 pages.

 

[Chorus]

 

With apologies to the Glimmer Twins, here's a chorus you can work into the mix:

You're a post padder, post padder, post padder, post padder, post
A post padder, post padder, post padder, post padder, post
A post padder, post padder, post padder, post padder, post
Oh yes you are

 

Not much of a lyricist, can't string together anything worthwhile but a couple quick lines popped to mind for The Ballad of SportsJournalists.com

Sure, she may only be a 6.
But Favre is still sexting his dick pics.

Sometimes there's some nice eye candy.
Followed by some weird crapola, Hi Sandy!

 

[Drum solo]

 

Sportsjournalists.com, you should join
If for anything, the teachers from the files of Poin

 

Versatile has been plotting his first post on this thread for the last 18 hours. While sweating profusely.

 

Honestly, I wrote all of what follows last night but wanted this thread to get to two pages before I dropped in. Took too long.


=================SportsJournalists.com BATTLE RAP INTERLUDE=================

This hillbilly music is boring me, but I can't just leave
without taking time to ask, what happened to YG's sleeves?
He'll probably whine and plead to his much-cleverer honey,
but in a battle, I'd eat Care Bear like she was gummy.
This ain't funny; call it the state of the SJ nation.
I'm more concerned than Starman during Reagan's inauguration.
'Cause all this frustration just seems so damn petty.
Half the cause: Someone talking back to damned Petty.
I blame OOP getting the last word for testing patiences
and raping threads harder than Roethlisberger with waitresses.
I deserve better fellow posters with less of the dim shoutin'.
Man, I'd trade dooley_womack in a second for Jim Bouton.
The J-board? Shit's become a pointless labor.
There aren't enough journalists here to pick up Buck's toilet paper.
And buckweaver? More like Buck Nasty, ya deadbeat.
Why don't you click your heels three times and go back to spreadsheets?
Now we come up on Mr. Wedlock himself, Creosote.
Gather up his wives to figure out which is Keyser Soze.
So why's it hopeless? Take one look at the politics thread,
home to Farts, Fans and Obviousness, all of it dense.
This bar's for Double Down, high chief of navel gazing
who undoubtedly has submitted a pilot script to a cable station.
The pretentiousness is why I simply don't like you.
Shit, Azrael won't even read a post without subtitles.
And Alma's thoughts are both word dumps and palaver
with as much joy as Dick Whitman looking at a calendar.
I'll keep disemboweling nerds if this place stays a boring drag.
It's the same assholes with new names. Right, Norrin Radd?
Oh hey, IJAG; what's the snarky thought of the day?
But give her credit: Everyone else had forgot about dre.
And thanks to Ruckus and the Revolution — they know who they are
— we've got two fucking members named JR.
This site's full of old hacks who simply don't know better.
You're a bunch of print mistakes, like PCLoadLetter.
And the moderators aren't exempt either, a slew of cowards
who coo and cower but never miss a chance to abuse their power.
Drip seems like the kind of guy who poops in showers.
That dis had as much depth as all his posts, from boots to now. Worse
yet might be the bigots with their backward ways,
but at least they live in fear they might catch the gay.
And I would wreck with flames, but they'd just cry and snitch.
Aside: Mr. JackReacher, you are a giant bitch!
Hey, ladies, you know the drill: It's tits or get the fuck out.
SportsJournalists.com is like the He-Man Woman Hater's club house.
Yo Chris_L, stop acting like this board is your Tumblr.
I don't even have enough space to explain why I hate Bubbler.
And don't think I snubbed y'all in the wrestling den.
Spoiler alert: That shit is pretend. The rest of us knew when we were 10.
All you SportsJournalists.com bitches, I'm coming, so go hide,
except for dixie, Farmer, Steak, three_bags, Brad and Yodel ...
Roll Tide.

=================SportsJournalists.com BATTLE RAP INTERLUDE OVER=================

 

OK, I think we can lock this fucker up now.

 

Rhyme scheme is too simple.

 

Welp. That's just as scary as I thought it'd be.