Watch fireworks or light your own?

The inbreds across the street are going away for the weekend which is good. They loves them some fihrwerks...that also set every damn dog in the neighborhood (seven, including their one) howling...
Nothing says Ala-fucking-bama like watching a seven-year-old supervising a four-year-old with fireworks.

 

Because I am covering a game and my wife isn't willing to suffer all by herself through a four-hour wait at the city park with four kids running four directions, she will light a few in the driveway for the littlest kid, then wait for me to get home and I will set off a $50 Costco pack of boom-booms for the older ones.

 

I'd rather have phone sex with Ben Stein than watch fireworks.

Boring. As. Fuck.

 

Same here, without the fucking-Ben-Stein part.

 

I pity your partner.

 

Just swung by one of the multiple tents set up in town and spent about $25. Mostly little ground spinners, some of those nasty black snake things just because I remember having a ball with them as a kid, and a few fountains. Little jps doesn't care about expense ... just likes to watch things sparkle and shine ... so I get off pretty cheap for the next few years, I guess. But will probably go to the city show as well later on after I get these pages done and sent.

 

"Dammit Stumpy, I told you not to let Lefty shoot them romanian candles at the dogs!"

 

My wife and I just sit out on the stoop and watch the white-trash alleged meth dealers across the street light off fireworks between swings if what I can only suspect is PBR or Milwaukee's Best.

 

What are Romanian candles?

Anyway, I'm not fond of shooting off my own fireworks ever since my brother chased me around my backyard shooting a roman candle at me. Another time, in high school, my friend's little brother threw a firecracker at me and it burned my arm. I punched him in the face - despite him being much, much larger than me - and I haven't lit my own off since.

I'm glad I will be working tonight, because I'm afraid the rednecks in my area will burn the town down, considering how many trees we have and how many fires are already burning near us.

 

I must admit I'm a little put off by the constant references to those who enjoy fireworks as being rednecks. I'm about as far from redneck as it's possible to get and I enjoy them.