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Want to Get Married? Answer these...

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by qtlaw, Feb 8, 2007.

  1. qtlaw

    qtlaw Well-Known Member

    From the NYT:

    Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

    Relationship experts report that too many couples fail to ask each other critical questions before marrying. Here are a few key ones that couples should consider asking:


    Marriage Is Not Built on Surprises (Dec. 17, 2006)

    1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

    2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

    3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

    4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

    5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

    6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

    7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

    8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

    9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

    10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

    11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

    12) What does my family do that annoys you?

    13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

    14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

    15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

    IMHO, hard tough questions that do need to be answered otherwise the chances for divorce rise quickly.
     
  2. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Marriage is the No. 1 cause of divorce in the U.S.
     
  3. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    If you get married and don't know the answers to all those questions, you're a moron.

    Sorry, that stuff usually comes out through good communication, usually without the questions needing to be asked.
     
  4. EStreetJoe

    EStreetJoe Well-Known Member

    Agreed 100 percent. Can't add anything else.
     
  5. wickedwritah

    wickedwritah Guest

    Moron was kind of harsh. Let me change that to ill-informed. My general sentiment stands.
     
  6. CentralIllinoisan

    CentralIllinoisan Active Member

    Just an aside: I love it when No. 8 in a list is made into a smiley face with sunglasses 8). Adds a sometimes ironic or sarcastic bend a list's entry. Carry on.
     
  7. Claws for Concern

    Claws for Concern Active Member

    Good stuff.
     
  8. Freelance Hack

    Freelance Hack Active Member

    Sorry. Thought this was a Diner thread.
     
  9. Buck

    Buck Well-Known Member

    Asking questions is never part of good communication.
     
  10. HandsomeHarley

    HandsomeHarley Well-Known Member

    After 18 1/2 years of marriage:

    1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
    Yes, and we decided to have other people's children. That way we can give 'em back.

    2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?
    Yes; I buy, she eats.

    3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?
    Household chores are why we had kids.

    4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
    Only the most important one: No, I don't have VD.

    5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?
    Still!? After 18 1/2 years!? Is this a trick question?

    6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?
    No, because my sexual needs don't include her.

    7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?
    The real question is, Will there be Showtime in the bedroom? Because if not, then see question 6.

    Cool Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?
    I'm sorry, were you talking?

    9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?
    Yes, and the kids have picked up on some pretty heavy spiritual words every time the Chiefs turn the ball over.

    10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?
    Yes, I like her friends. Some of them very much.

    11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?
    We decided to be fair, we would hate them all.

    12) What does my family do that annoys you?
    Calls ... comes over ... writes.

    13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?
    See question 10.

    14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?
    What do you mean, "We"?

    15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?
    We've lasted 18 1/2 years. You answer the question.

    (In case you didn't know, this was done tongue-in-cheek. ;)
     
  11. Cadet

    Cadet Guest

    Wait, isn't this stuff supposed to work it all out after the magic of the $30,000 ceremony?
     
  12. Johnny Dangerously

    Johnny Dangerously Active Member

    Answering them is even worse.
     
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