Virgin tales — Chapter 1

I wish.

She could've stood to shed a couple pounds.

 

You are a humanitarian, PO.

 

So, an update.

Her: So how bad was this grease flare-up thing?
Me: Not all that bad.
Her: So why is the filter melted to the exhaust fan above the stove?
Me: How were the cupcakes? Weren't they great?
Her: Flowers, chocolate, ice cream. One or any combination will fix this.
Me: Duly noted....

 

Annnnnnnnnnnnnd, he's in the trap.

 

Fixed for sj style

 

For a second, I thought he misspelled it, Dools. I need to find a new way to spend my time.

 

Jay takes his first step into a smaller world ...

EDIT: ... and finds that the tales of his sweetheart's virginity have been greatly exaggerated.
(Hate it when I think of a better caption a few minutes after posting).

 

Judging by this, how is Jay not a virgin?

 

Cupcakes, dools. It's all about the cupcakes.

Seriously though, I think they're both virgins.

 

Honest to God, I've wondered the same thing myself. Lord, the combination of the surreal and just plain bizarre events is mystifying. I'm not even sure if this current saga cracks the all-time top 10 of weird things.

And Flash, PM me your address, I'll ship you some cupcakes. It is your birthday.

 

The cupcakes will go good with calamri and ice cream[/crossthreading]

 

Chapter 3 — Her Airing of Dirty Laundry
Synopsis: So, Jay, I've actually had anal sex with seven frat guys named Steve and inhaled more weiners than Kobayashi - but I'm still a virgin.