Virgin tales — Chapter 1

Isn't interesting how dogs frequently resemble their owners?

 

"Oh, he smells my dog?"

"What's his name?" -- "Ball-sniffer."

 

Interesting how jay made it sound like the fire was about to gut the kitchen, he end up with soot covered walls and fire extinguisher residue to clean up, and by the time the girl got home none of this was noticeable? Doubtful.

Methinks Jay is slightly exaggerating the facts here.

 

I gues that's better than En Vogue's "Never Gonna Get It"

 

Jay's either going to end up marrying this girl or committing to a lifetime of bachelorhood.

I can't wait to see which way it goes.

 

Sadly I am not. Worth nothing that I had made the cupcakes the night before.

And I think it was noticeable, I just don't think she said anything. Cupcakes will do that to a girl.

Timeline
3 p.m. — "I just left my parents. I should be home by 6."
3:05 p.m. — Leave for her house.
3:10 p.m. — Get there and start cooking.
3:15 p.m. — Grease fire
3:15:20 p.m. — Panic
3:16 p.m. — Fire extinguisher to the rescue
3:20 p.m. — Start cleaning
5 p.m. — House is relatively clean
5:45 p.m. — "I'm home."

 

I think we need to come up with a (not-so) subtle playlist for Jay to drop some hints to this girl. A real Panty Dropping Playlist.

One for him to play as he ices down his blue balls late at night would be solid as well.

Here's a couple for each one ...

Panty Dropping:
Let's Get it On - Marvin Gaye
Do Me - Bell Biv Devoe

Blue Balls:
I Touch Myself - Divinyls
Tossing and Turning - Bobby Lewis

 

As somebody who knows Jay IRL, let me just say that I find his story completely believable.

 

As opposed to a FORTUNATE scrotum injury?!

Isn't it ironic?

 

The role of IJAG will be played tonight by Moderator1.