Virgin tales — Chapter 1

Also "Ouch, Ouch You're On My Hair".

 

Don't forget "No, That Really Is A Pencil In My Pocket" and "My Love Is Like A Five-Alarm Fire (In Your Kitchen)."

 

Bookmark.

(Also, the ad at the bottom of the page is for fire extinguisher safety training. Awesome.)

 

I'm getting one for "Na Na Na Na Ringtones." Hardly a good omen.

 

You've got to suck it, baby, the house could burn down tomorrow.

 

Cupcake,

Why would you even go there airing dirty laundry with a woman with sparkling sheets?

The sorority sister probably doesn't even remember.

 

I'd rather date a virgin than someone who will burn my house down.

 

Please, pay no attention to Ace. He has no idea what he's talking about. In fact, you might suggest a three-way with the sorority sister for her first time. Just make sure to report back here.

 

On the next date, Jay mocks his girlfriend by playing TLC all night long.

 

Don't go chasing vaginal walls,
Just stick to the grease fires and the blue balls you're used to.

 

Holy hell fuck. I am in awe.

 

This. Thread. Is. Amazing.

Whatever path this relationship ends up taking, Jay, something tells me it could be great fodder for a book.