Valentine's Day

Anyone doing anything for it?

We never do because it's too crowded, especially on a Friday night.

Plus, kids.

 

Also, it's a holiday.

 

I like Christmas now.

 

Get a room, you two.

 

I missed the Secret St. Valentine thread.

 

This holiday gets confusing when you're a parent and have been married for pushing a decade.

My wife doesn't want anything. She's told me not to get her anything. I am 100 percent convinced she does not want anything.

But... At some point tomorrow, my sister-in-law or mother-in-law (both of whom I like a lot...) will call and ask what I gave her for Valentines' Day and I don't want my wife to be in a position to say, "We decided not to do anything this year..."

I got her flowers, pajamas and I'm making dinner.

 

For those of you not having a good Valentine's Day, it could be worse ... you could be arrested, tortured, beaten with clubs and beheaded by Roman soldiers on Feb. 14.

Then maybe this day would have YOUR name

 

Like clockwork, every year:

"What did you get your wife for Valentine's Day?"

"Nothing, she doesn't want anything."

"She wants something."

Nope. She doesn't. I don't even think she thinks about it. It would be just more "stuff" cluttering up our already cluttered existence.

 

I've never known what to do with the "I just met this girl and we made out for the first time two days before V-Day" situation.

 

Or gunned down by a rival gang in a parking garage.

 

Happy National Make Single People Feel Like Shit Day
I plan to celebrate as I always do, head to the bar at 1:45 to meet some clinically depressed women.