United tells people they're too fat to fly

I think that's what you meant.

They show the in-flight movie these days the same time they pass out the meals in coach.

 

While they're at it, they also should start bumping families traveling with lap kids from full flights.

 

Good sarcasm, and cross-threading, requires no blue font.

 

Particularly CRYING lap kids.

 

So you think it's fair if I have to shell out twice as much as everyone else because it inconveniences you to fly next to me?

Bullshit.

 

Is there any other kind?

 

For each hour of flight time, the kid should have to do matching Nyquel shots.

 

That would cost money, silly.

 

Sorry, I forgot to take my Beano before we boarded.

 

Fit into the space allotted you or don't fly. You don't get free access to my space.