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Two old black men saw me naked or what I did on vacation

Discussion in 'Anything goes' started by JayFarrar, Mar 30, 2009.

  1. JayFarrar

    JayFarrar Well-Known Member

    I went to a bath house! On Bath House Row! Two old black men saw me naked! And I paid money for it!
    Here's the deal. Went with the girl to Hot Springs, Ark., home of Bath House Row, on a long weekend getaway. She wanted to try the bath houses. I should interject that Hot Springs, Arkansas basically sits on top of a volcano -- I know, weird -- and water gets pushed up through the hot stuff. Along the way the water gets very hot, and also gets these crazy minerals and silicates as the water travels up. I got a pamphlet!
    Anyway, you get there and you pays your money, with tax it was like $26, and you go to a locker room and Bobby, my attendant says "strip" so I did. I put my stuff in a locker and get a key to wear around my wrist. When I'm ready, he comes in, and wraps me up in a sheet.
    Then we make the walk to the back and he hands me off to Virgil, who will be taking care of me.
    So he puts me in this giant bath tub with a whirlpool, and the water is at a comfy 115 degrees. Worth noting that I had a little bit of a cold, since it was cold as balls on Saturday.
    Also worth noting that Hot Springs has a pretty sweet horse racing track. I lost! She didn't!
    I'm in the tub for 20 minutes, then I head to the steam chamber, then I head to the hot towel wrap, then the needle shower. A shower that approximately 100 shower heads.
    The whole process took about an hour.
    If I had paid for it, I also could have been loofahed down. And also massaged.
    I didn't pay for it.
    I was too tall for the steam chamber. It looks like an oven, but your head sticks up out of the top. Anyone past 5-foot-10 is out.
    Regardless of missing out on the steam chamber, the whole thing was completely and totally fantastic. Fantastic. And my cold was completely and totally gone!
    Also got some knowledge dropped on me. Hot Springs, besides being the hometown of Bill Clinton, was famous in early part of the 20th century because of the bath houses. Baseball spring training was conducted there and Babe Ruth was said to really enjoy going. That might have been because Hot Springs was also famous for its casinos and whores back then.
    FDR was also said to have been a regular visitor. It was implied that it wasn't because of the whores, but the bath houses. The crazy mineral-silicate water is said to cure many things, from being a fatty to polio.
    Then the depression came along and the super rich decided it wasn't cool to party down in Arkansas. Then some rabble rousing governor ran all the whores and casinos out of town. The only gambling left is the horse track.
    All and all, even without the casinos and whores, Hot Springs was a lot of fun. If you go, visit one of the bath houses and check your shame at the door.
  2. forever_town

    forever_town Well-Known Member

    Modesty forbids my appearance there.
  3. buckweaver

    buckweaver Active Member

    Fred Clarke approves of this thread.


    Spring training at Hot Springs:

    Cardinals, 1900
    Pirates, 1901-16, 1920-23
    Tigers, 1908
    Cubs, 1909-10
    Red Sox, 1909-10, 1912-18, 1920-23
    Dodgers, 1910-12, 1917-18
    Reds, 1910-11
    Browns, 1911
    Phillies, 1912
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 15, 2014
  4. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    I cannot tell you how disappointed I am that this story didn't end with "...and then my girlfriend and I finally did it."
  5. JC

    JC Well-Known Member

    This thread title is Old Tony's worst nightmare
  6. ArnoldBabar

    ArnoldBabar Active Member

    I want to know what the hell a "needle shower" is.

    My family used to have some kind of timeshare in Hot Springs when I was a kid. Nice place. And man, does a 115-degree soak sound good. Nothing worse than stepping into a hot tub and finding out it's 100 degrees (which I think is some sort of Marriott corporate policy). You might as well stay home and piss your pants for the same affect.
  7. slappy4428

    slappy4428 Active Member

    They haven't yet?
  8. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    I'm pretty sure he told the story of the consummation already, but I could be wrong.
  9. BYH

    BYH Active Member

    I suck.

    Congrats to Jay. Carry on, all.
  10. Angola!

    Angola! Guest

    Your sucking combined with the thread title is freaking me out. :)
  11. Bruce Leroy

    Bruce Leroy Active Member

    The first post should be on some sort of pamphlet promoting Hot Springs to tourists. I never knew there was any reason to think, "Hey, maybe we should go to Arkansas."
  12. old_tony

    old_tony Well-Known Member

    Why would your homophopia be a problem for me?
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